The Rabbi's Kid

Selach Li, Mechal Li

2006-10-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

I know I don't deserve it. Not by any means. But please.

May Hashem have mercy on my soul

So long .....

2006-09-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

and thanks for all the fish

Don't tear me apart

2006-08-29T06:54:00.000-07:00

What started out as some bytes of binary
barely 1s and 0s through fibres so bizarre
became so much more

The relationship we built, faceless, nameless
across countries, oceans, continents
is extraordinary, more extra than ordinary

Not based on looks nor personality, but what?
Your thoughts, opinions, jokes
Ideas so pure and bright, shining through me

The time we invested, spent, never wasted
Energy from the soul, pouring into you
Emotions ripped open, eloping to where you are

My bank account, growing in interest daily
Even if we never meet
I want it to come to fruition, the natural way

How can you take that investment, those emotions
close it, cut them, brake them apart
and walk away?

Leaving me empty, soulless, drained, in despair
the emotional life-blood pulled away
my finances wrecked, rocky, shorn

Let nature take its course, its time
let the emotions go where they will, it's fine
that is the way of the world, the way things are and will be

I am the one who cries when someone dies on ER
I invest in my friends and hate losing them
Time cannot heal the pain

You know who you are
don't tear me apart

G-d on high, Bring him home

2006-07-31T10:38:00.000-07:00

God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there

He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.

Lord, the world is watching
waiting,
to bait your people
to bring down your Name
to see your Land
crushed, burnt, blown up
by the ones who swore to destroy Your people.

Your sons held captive
Have you no mercy?
Do you not care?
Your people cry out
but you are not there.

Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home

The top of the hill

2006-06-16T01:21:00.000-07:00

They said the view from the top was quite simply breathtaking. The sheer sweep and range of the view would knock you out, leave you gasping for air, even demand you lie back and take it all in. There are those who are out of breath, unable to move for a few minutes.

It isn't always easy to get up there. Some girls, after a number of attempts, discovered the way up. A few of them realized that if you put your fingers and toes in the rights crevices you could make it up there quickly, and proceeded to do so. Others struggled the first few times, but when they got to the top they knew it was worth the effort, and they got better at it.

Some of them didn't make it to the top. Social pressures, nerves, religious issues preventing them. Maybe they weren't sure of the rewards up there, maybe they got close but didn't quite make it and gave up.

A few stood around near the bottom, waiting for a guy to take them to the top. Though they failed to realize that many guys didn't know the way up themselves, especially the novices, who also needed someone to show them the way. This led to a lifetime of misery near the bottom of the hill, never knowing what could've lain in wait at the top.

Many didn't believe the view was that special. It wasn't something you could describe, you just had to experience it for yourself and until you did so, you probably didn't know what you were missing.

So don't miss that view, get yourself up there and discover it for yourself.

TRK

Do we have the Torah yet?

2006-05-31T06:41:00.000-07:00

What do we have?

A bunch of guys with straggly beards swaying back and forth and debating chakiros in Chetzi Shiur or Hezek Reiyah. Do they know and investigate G-d's Word or the concept and beauty of revelation?

People who judge other people and potential shidduchim based on the size/style of their (minhag) head-covering or their shirt-color (!) and not their (Deorayta, very serious) middos of love, warmth, friendliness, generosity and care for others.

Supposedly G-d fearing businessmen for whom making a fast buck unethically or cheating on your tax forms is not only acceptable, but it is positively a chiyuv.

Guys that would run a mile and pay a fortune to see the latest film, or a glimpse of Hollywood's hottest property (Natalie P. you know you are for me!), but to spend time studying or contemplating G-d's earth or Book is too much for them.

Bans being distributed left and right against people who dare to raise questions, to argue, to debate and even to doubt. Where is the encouragement? The free-spirited honest debate that will refine for us a greater appreciation of G-d's emes?

Wonderful, wholehearted servants of Hashem who are looked down upon because they are not married. These beautiful tortured souls are crying out for support.

Thousands of weighty tomes and severe lectures about the finest minutae of Halachot, many of which are not applicable nowadays, yet minimal discussion of connection, chosenness, spiritual creativity and the Big Man Himself (not you Barry Bonds!).

Let us take this time out to appreciate our purpose here, the fact that we have many forms of revelation and numerous valid ways of connecting to Him and His word and implementing it in our lives.

I don't think we have the Torah yet. Do you?

TRK

The Half-Baked man who wouldn't listen - a short story

2006-05-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

Eugene Steadman was a dour, staid, punctual guy. In his town, people didn't say "it's reliable as clockwork", they grew to say "it's reliable as Steadman". He liked his routine and he stuck to it.

Every morning he would come downstairs and settle himself down at the kitchen table, take his time reading through the financial news and sip on his black coffee, one sugar. After waving his kids off to school, he would pick up his briefcase at 9.27 precisely and begin the 33 minute walk to work. He would nod at the same people as he trotted by, on his way to his job as a bookeeper in the local accountancy firm. At 3pm on the dot, he would pick up his briefcase and head off home, using the same route and nodding to the same people, Truman Burbank-esque. There wasn't too much bookeeping work to be done at this small town and he could leave the same time every day.

Due to some quirk of nature, the sun was very strong in Steadman's town. Maybe there was a hole in the ozone, and his skin was especially sensitive. The right side of Eugene's face would get the sun on the way North to work, and the right side would get the sun on his way home South in the afternoon.

Over the course of a number of years, Steadman's skin started to show the effects of his walk in the sun every day. The ride side of his face became blotchy, mottled, patchy. It turned pink, red, streaks of brown. The left side of his face remained the same old pasty white Steadman color. The local kids, who never failed to be cruel when the opportunity arose, would laugh at him and threw stones at him. He accumulated many nicknames, including splotchy, half-face, the joker. But Eugene carried on walking.

His wife pleaded with him to change his routine. Eugene Jr. begged him to do something different, he was also suffering the insults in school - "splotchy junior" and "little joker" particularly inflamed him. They brought in doctors and dermatologists to explain to him the dangers involved, psychologists and psychoanalysts to examine his deep-seated need for routine and his stubborness to stick to his routine, but to no avail. He wouldn't listen. Eugene kept on walking the same route to work, every day.

Eugene passed away after 30 years of work. Those seated in the funeral parlor could only see the left-side of his face, but they all knew that the right was horrific, burnt, scarred.

Which one of us isn't Eugene?

TRK

My faith in Blogging restored

2006-05-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

I have become jaded recently, overwhelmed by the number of blogs out there. Swamped by the sheer mass, is there any point any more? I continued to write, mainly for myself, partially because I believe I still have something to say and partially for my ego, that there are people out there who still read my words.

And then Anonymookie posted here, reinforcing my faith that I should continue to throw my thoughts and ideas out there, to comment, to post, to speak my mind. Who knows what may come of it, maybe I can continue to have a small effect on the universe?

Maybe when I get to the Beis Din Shel Maalah and the prosecuting angels drag in those huge sacks of sins, brimming to the top with large, heaving nasty transgressions, maybe then some of my words here can come to defend me, can show how I have also had a positive influence on people with whom I would never normally have had a chance to speak to in regular life.

If by the clak-claking of my fingers on my keyboard I can have unseen effects somewhere else across the globe, then let Chaos theory be my guide, and let my words continue to flow from my keyboard into your hearts, Amen.

TRK

What's wrong with "The Apprentice"?

2006-05-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

Well, apart from the fact that I am always concerned that whatever nests in the Donald's hair will wake up, sprout wings and fly away, there is plenty wrong. I mean it.

The show is fascinating, an insight to a world many out there have little or no connection with. A world of might means right, money talks, power is the answer.

There have been occasions when the Donald has been on the verge of evicting someone, but that person effectively argues back and places the blame on someone else, who gets the proverbial boot.

As a believing G-d fearing Jew (well, most of the time) I hope I can contribute my two cents. I can stand up and say "Zeh lo haderech", this is not the way. We do not want to reward aggressiveness, pushiness, back-stabbing. We shouldn't be working for our asset-strippers, our insurance companies, Big Tobacco and their lackeys.

If the halachos of Onaah, Hasagas Gevul, and the rest of Choshen Mishpat have taught me anything (and they probably haven't), it's that this is not how we want society to function. Those of us who care, need to say no. We need to walk away from the temptations, the good money earned the wrong way. There is a better way, a godly way, a way to contribute to society and earn a living without trampling on people, ruining their lives, stabbing rivals in the back.

There must be. So help me G-d. We can't let the Donald win.

TRK

Tell yourselves a story tonight

2006-05-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

A story that really begins way back when in the mists of time. But we pick it up a couple of hundred years ago, when the pupils of the Vilna Gaon and also ironically enough the pupils of the Besht were sent to live in a dusty land, far away from civilization, a land that lived on as a dream in the hearts of a few.

Then came a couple of Rabbis, Kalisher and Alkalai, who promoted that dream. A journalist, estranged from his Jewish roots, took up the baton after being horrified by the Dreyfuss affair. He worked tirelessly to bring about this crazy, wacky, outlandish idea.

Hundreds of thousands followed, tilling the soil, working the lands, like in Nechemiah's time, with one hand on the plow and one hand on the gun. Faced by malaria, malnutrition and a hostile enemy, they planted seeds, the fruits of which we are reaping today, as per Choni Hameagel's carob-planting friend.

Many gave up their lives, grieving over lost sons and daughters who died for this deserted desert. But the marshes and wastelands began to sprout. It was ready to receive the weary, starved remnants of great Jewish communities across Europe, tattered and torn on the inside and out. They were accepted with open arms and running battles were fought with the British over every lost soul.

Then another miracle occured 58 years ago tonight. For the first time in 2000 years G-d had seen fit to grant the Jews a State, a Homeland, soveriegnty over the ancient land where Abraham walked, where Moses dreamed of going and where King David ruled. Since then, it has been plagued with many things, but more than anything else it is plagued with miracles.

Its survival against all the odds, against hundreds of millions of armed enemies, desperate to destroy it. It flourished and grew beyond anyone's wildest dreams. It became a phenomenal place, technologically advanced, absorbing millions of immigrants, able to rightfully hold its head up high amongst the nations, proudly proclaiming itself to be a success.

Tell yourselves this story tonight, and believe in miracles because they do happen.

TRK

The Coolidge has no effect on me

2006-04-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

I discovered recently a term for the way many of us behave - the Coolidge effect. You can read where the name came from here. In short, animals do not choose their mates randomly. They identify and reject those with whom they have already had sex, and move on.

It is the temporal need for newness, for freshness, for new challenges, to find another partner, not to get stale, old and boring.

We are constantly searching for the scent, the raw, fierce tension. It is a life-long challenge for us to settle down, to stay with one female, one person, one partner, to wake up next to them every day. This affects all of us in some way or another.

So if you are in a relationship, or thinking about heading into one, be smart and be cool, keep things fresh, keep the challenge on, don't let things get too stale and dull. And good luck. And wish me luck.

TRK

L-rd, Cleanse me

2006-04-12T02:15:00.000-07:00

L-rd, cleanse me
wash away my grimes and misdemeanors
purify me

Take these crumbs of sin
incinerate them
let no dog want to eat them

Cancel my desires
like dust and dirt
Gone forgotten forever

Let sin no longer rear its ugly head
nor bite me in the ass
boy that hurts

We'll celebrate the exodus
from slavery to my material wants
to freedom for my soul

Purge me
Free me
Save me

Because I can't

The One Call you shouldn't have to make

2006-04-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

1) "Hi, Michelle, it's Jason. Don't hang up, please listen. I know you told me you never wanted to speak to me again, but this is important. No, stop shouting at me and listen. I need to see you. Just meet me this evening, I don't care where. Ok, ok, you don't wanna meet me. Then just hear me out for two minutes, please. I was at the clinic, getting some tests done. They found that I was ... I am ..... positive. You know, I'm infected. Yes, they are sure, they did another two tests. Look, I know we used protection. But we did other things. You remember what we did, so you'll also have to get tested. No I don't know who I caught it off, it could've been you! Hey, we both know that's a lie, you could've got it from someone before me. Stop pretending to be all innocent and pure, alright? Just go get tested and let me know - and please don't tell anyone, I haven't told my family yet. I just got to figure out how to carry on - what a mistake i made."

2) "Ben, hi, how are ya, it's Leah, what's up? Yeah, I know we haven't spoken for a while, but I really gotta speak to ya. Listen, it's important. You gotta listen, stop telling me to leave you alone. I am out of your life, but I gotta tell you something , I'm pregnant. I'm carrying your baby. Yes it's yours, what are you trying to say? I don't know how it happened - you tell me. You were there, it's your sperm, I don't know how they got inside me, there were a number of close calls, who knows? It doesn't matter now. Don't YOU tell me to get an abortion, I'm the one who can make that decision. Are you messing with me? No I don't expect you to marry me, we broke up, remember? Look, I will get an abortion, I think, I just need to think about it. No you can't come with me, you are only offering to make sure I go through with it. You don't get it, there is a human GROWING inside of me, a miracle in my womb. I just got to figure out how to carry on - what a mistake I made."

TRK

Another year older, still no wiser

2006-03-31T01:00:00.000-08:00

I am in a pensive mood as I reflect on my blogoversary, a time to look back at a year of ups and downs, quality writing and awful poetry, inciteful issues and laughable diatribes. 365 days closer to the time G-d has earmarked for me to join Him back in the big movie theatre in the sky, to pay my dues, time after time.

8,760 hours passed by. Most of those were spent sleeping or in front of a computer. Did I make a difference to anyone? Could someone have read my words and stopped and said "yes, TRK is right, I will stop being a coward and ask out the girl I've liked for so long". Am I a third of the way to Gan Eden?

Have I become any closer to G-d, to doing His will, to becoming the person He knows I can be? Thousands of souls are clamoring for TRK to touch them, enlighten them, inspire them. And yet I stay rooted to American Idol! Polar opposites, distant objectives, worlds apart. Who am I?

What will the next year if blogging hold? Shall I become old and jaded, yearn for the old days and the early gang, yet many have moved on, married, dropped off blogworld, advanced to bigger and better things? Or have they been replaced by a new fresher bunch, eager Young Turks ready for revolution, inspired to help overthrow this awful corporate apathy that descends like a dark heavy cloud over all of us?

I will keep going, because I believe I still have plenty to say, lots of challenging and penetrative ideas. I do still get attacks of insight that I haven't yet posted.

Thank you to all of you who have come here, read my words, commented on them - even if it is to tell me how wrong I am!

Long Live Blogging!

TRK

Bed Habits

2006-03-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

Just a few questions. Do you:-

- Turn over your quilt or pillow every so often or move your head around to get the cold areas?
- Change the sheets once a week, once a month or just wait till they become part of the bed and throw another one on (you know who you are!)?
- Leave a limb - usually a foot - hanging over the edge?
- Lean back and rest your leg on something half way up the wall?
- When feeling down, eat a whole bag of potato chips in bed and then torture yourself by rolling around in the crumbs all night?
- Climb into bed all sweaty after a game, only showering the next day?
- Have items on a stand at the end of your bed and sometimes knock them over when stretching?
- Have all sorts of useful things roll under the bed just out of arms reach?
- Your cover sheet can only reach any 3 corners at a time - which corner will you give up on?
- In winter you go to sleep in sweats and wake up shvitzing?
- Play a prank by making an apple pie bed, where the undersheet is actually folded up half way down the bed, so that the prankee gets in and cannot move any further than that?
- Use more pillows to read than to sleep, or just sleep on a ridiculous amount of them scattered around your head?

Feel free to ignore. Or add more. Or just snore.

TRK

The Lessons of Exile

2006-03-10T06:28:00.000-08:00

To introduce my general theories about Israeli politics I will first present my religious ideals. I am assuming we believe that G-d has a message for us in Jewish history, and that this message is discernable - as opposed to the causation of events and reasons for them etc.

So for the last 2000 years G-d decided to have us thrown out of most countries in existence, subjected to pogroms, dhimmi status, book-burnings, blood libels, Inquisitions, you name it we had it, even if we didn't expect it, because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, we have two main weapons .....

Barring a few lucky years in one or two locations (Bavel, Golden Spain) we had it pretty bad, as a minority amongst a ruling majority who didn't like us very much. Walled up in our ghettoes, extremely restricted in the kind of profession we could do, subject to heavy taxation, we know what it is like to live as a minority. I would imagine this point to be self-evident.

After this inordinately long exile, G-d decided to grant us the gift of the state, to see how we will perform. Have we learned the lessons of the Exile, have we sufficiently internalized what it means to live in the minority? I believe we have failed in this.

It is also self-evident to me that in Israel that minorities do not get sufficient recognition and respect. Whether it be Sefardim, Ethiopians, Russians, Arabs, settlers, the disabled and others. It doesn't seem to me that those responsible with the running on the state really show large amounts of compassion to the minorities living amongst them.

It also disturbs me that the large majority of religious leaders do not speak up about this. They are not my leaders if they haven't yet learned the lesson that the Jewish people suffered so much in order for us to learn. I am not trying to present a political platform, rather a moral imperative that all Jews must have, especially those of us who believe that G-d has been trying to tell us lessons in history.

Israel has done a great job in absorbtion, but so much more needs to be done, and religious Jews worldwide should be leading the march and fighting the fight to show that Israel can truly be a succesful experiment, where the morality of the Jews shines through for all to see.

TRK

The Haves and the Have-nots

2006-03-08T17:04:00.000-08:00

Excuse the blogging hiatus, I guess I was in a blump (Blog-slump). This post is not about material existence, but rather joie de vivre, the passion and adventure of that wonderful gift called life. Some of us have it, others don't.

Many people vicariously live adventurously through others, as a means of enriching their existence. What do I mean? Well, par example, I once had a girlfriend who was not the most exciting nor the most adventurous of females, but she went out with a few "wild" guys, which I guess gave her life excitement and flair through them.

These primary people, the Haves, they are the ones who grab life by the scruff of the neck, shake it down a little, glare it in the eye and say "I am going to live you to the max, whether you like it or not". The vicarious ones, the Have-nots, merely allow themselves to be caught along in the slipstream.

The same is true in blogworld. I imagine there are many who sit around going "did you read X's blog?" or "have you seen what Y wrote?", without themselves having contributed or dared to write anything themselves. They are secondary creatures, living off the derring-do of others.

Many also get their kicks out of discussing their friends or relatives' antics, living their life through the prism of gossip and the frisson one gets when hearing about the adventures or misadventures of others. While the Haves have no need for this, their life being fulfilling and exciting.

I understand not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to become one of the Haves, someone stuck in a dead-end job all their life, or having to run a household with a layabout spouse, but more often than not it is in our hands. Who do we want to be, the Haves or the Have-nots?

Plenty more to come

TRK

The Promising Athlete

2006-02-23T17:39:00.000-08:00

They told him the sacrifices were worth it. They promised him that if he would focus and attain his goals, the rewards would pay off in the long run. But he loved his partying, his wild lifestyle, his girls. To sacrifice all that just for a shot at the big time, at the big leagues? Even when he got there, made professional, he'd still have to stick to the strict training regime, every morning, up with the roosters, watching what he ate, giving the clubs and ladies a miss, but for what?

They told him that once he got to the big time he'd realize what is was all about. That competing in the world championships was worth something, that the joy he would feel then would be worth all the pain and sacrifice. It is better for him to get to sleep early now, keep off the alcohol and the drugs, don't let the women entice him. So he can focus on the goal, of making it, of building something, of doing something valuable for the future. Who even says he would make it?

But right now he can't see that, he doesn't appreciate that, in fact he doesn't want that. He wants to live life in the now, the here, with whatever excitement life can throw at him, living for the moment, the thrill and rush. He doesn't believe it is all worth it, the sacrifice for the future, he just can't see it.

Vehamaven Yavin Hamoshol Vehanimshal (only the wise will understand the parallel) .

TRK

A War on Intolerant Islam

2006-02-10T05:16:00.000-08:00

Now that my emotions have calmed down somewhat, I might be able to express myself clearly, though again the chances of that are both slim and fat.

Firstly, I know that there are many millions of law-abiding, first amendment respecting, normal muslims out there, including a couple of fellow bloggers, for whom I have the utmost respect. But I am concerned, worried, disturbed, distressed. We are at a crossroads. Especially in the ticking time bomb for our European brothers acoss the pond.

Let's tell things as they are - the one thing in common between these protesters across the world is Islam. Most of them are indoctrinated to believe that someone who caricatures the Prophet Mohammed deserves punishment, even death.

I have no problem in peaceful protests, letters to the editor, all the tools of democratic society can be utilized against an offensive depiction of someone or something you believe to be holy. Please do. As a Jew, I know what it is like when people try and knock you down, trample on what you believe to be holy and sacred. You must fight it, denounce it as racist, abusive, intolerant etc.

But to respond with violence, to call for acts of violence against the perpretators, or any of the other despicable acts we have seen recently, that is beyond the pale. That is something the mdoern world cannot take, on such a scale. A fatwa against Salman Rushdie is unacceptable in today's world.

Liberal open societies work on the system "I may not like what you say but I will fight for your right to say it", i.e. if people want to publish or express their view, however racist, anti-semitic or disgusting I find it, they have the right to do so. As long as it doesn't incite violence. That is the beauty of open, modern societies. Long may it continue. We fought for it for a long time.

However, the attititude of much of the Islamic world is not like that. This is where liberal values and Islam's religious views clash, head to head, in a supreme battle for the world's future, to define what kind of societies will we live in. Will Europe in 2050 contain Londonistan, Central Europe one big Khilafah, our basic freedoms restricted or destroyed? The Middle East regress into a raging torrent of intolerance? The UN voting in a platform of worldwide sharia?

I know I am presenting a worst-case scenario, and there are millions and millions of peace-loving muslims who are also concerned. It is time for all of us to stand up and be counted, to state that we cannot allow this insiduous attitude to reign in our societies. Now is the time, before it is too late. Please.

A concerned and extremely disturbed TRK

An Amona moan

2006-02-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay, had to wait until I calmed down (which is why you won't see anything about rampaging Muslims and freedom of expression just yet!). A couple of words for the settler movement:

1. Policemen and soldiers are violent, they are trained to act brutally - anywhere in the world, but especially in a country where they frequently have to put down violent demonstrations.
2. If you are in a crowd that are throwing rocks and bricks at said bloodthirsty policemen, you are going to get hurt.
3. Like the Arabs, you have brainwashed your children to go fight for your land for you.
4. As in the past, you have run to settle the territories without checking to see if the people are with you, or in fact ignoring the fact that the people are against you.
5. Even more than in the past, the Israeli Jews have come to the realization that there will have to be some sort of territorial compromise of some sort, and creating NEW illegal settlements doesn't fit into that plan.
6. Couching your struggle in eschatological terms will turn more people away from your cause, and enable the media and others to demonize you even more easily.
7. On a more positive note, I admire your ideology, if only you would put as much effort into improving the lot of the everyday person, into educating the people that religion has a positive role to play in their lives then Israel would be a much better and safer place to live.

TRK

One moment in time

2006-02-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

One thing struck me yesterday. When Hines Ward went up to collect his MVP award, the announcer said that from now on he will always be able to walk in the procession of former MVP's. That means that his place is cemented in history, his achievements permanently rewarded. Just for a couple of good catches.

It got me thinking about every positive act we do, every smile we pay someone, brightening up their day. Helping out our spouse, parents, boss. Sparing a word or a thought for G-d, acting on our beliefs, improving the world, assisting a little old lady cross the street, doing a favor for a friend.

These acts get encased in eternity. Forever engraved in the sands of time and enscribed in the divine history books, never to be taken away from us. We can always walk tall with our heads held up high, come what may. Proud of our achievements, the good deeds that carry us through. The difference we make, not just to the here and now but to infinity and beyond (thanks Buzz!).

So people, be proud of who you are and what you've done, for your accomplishments and good deeds - we all have them and they can never be deleted.

TRK

Free your Soul and be One with the World

2006-01-29T16:44:00.000-08:00

Stop. Take a minute out of your hectic, fast-paced life. Put down your pursuits, discard your desires and listen. Not to me, but to yourself.

Close your eyes and focus. Hear the sound of your breathing. Distance yourself from the world around you, turn your thoughts inward. Into the space you occupy on this planet. Just you, nothing else.

You no longer have cars, houses, clothes, possessions. None of the physical accroutements that clutter your mind and tempt your heart. Dig through the external layer of your existence, shed the clothes that hide you from your true self.

Shatter the as yet unbroken glass of your ego. Delve through the crusty, hardened shell of your pride, the rough exterior that powers you through your existence.

Continue your excavation, deeper and deeper into yourself. Through the sleek, shiny veneer of cynicism, the smug, all-knowing intellect for whom life's grandeur holds no mystery. Crush that self-satisfied sardonic curse that twists all beauty, that denies the very existence of your soul.

Approach the heart gently, for this is the hardest. Pierce through the pulsating emotions of your wants and needs, tear a gaping hole through your very life force.

Tenderly allow your soul, the core of your being, to exit from the hole in your heart. Free it from its constraints, from the many layers built up over the years, that hide and bury it in the sands of your daily routine dullery.

See, feel, taste, smell, hear that soul as it breaks free. Allow it to roam, follow it as it discovers the world it was meant for. Harness its strength as it begins to recognize sister souls around it. It connects with the souls embodied in man, it uplifts the souls in every animal, vegetable and mineral.

Your unshackled self, finally unfettered by your selfish, personal wants, can now merge with the divine sparks in existence and is at one with the world.

TRK

Open my eyes

2006-01-16T09:22:00.000-08:00

Thank you, oh worthy blogger. Thank you for broadening my horizons, for opening my eyes. For giving others the opportunity to put their thoughts down for the world to see, and for giving me the privilege to read them and catch a glimpse into the life of others different to me.

I no longer have much contact with my charedi friends, they are all grown up, with ever-growing families, secluded and sheltered in their own communities. When I see them on the street (if they stray into this part of the world) I think to myself, "although we learn the same torah, keep the same mitzvot, worship the same G-d, we really don't have that much in common".

And then I discovered blogs. Blogs from people in that world, boys and girls who have far more in common with me than I could ever have realized. Similar struggles, issues concerning emunah, action, relationships, achievements, attitude, society etc etc.

Now, when I see them on the street, I wonder "hmmmm, could that be a fellow blogger? even if not, maybe he/she really is going through similar stuff to me".

Thank you blogger for opening my eyes.

TRK

The Abyss

2006-01-11T05:28:00.000-08:00

Like a cloud, a constant leech
beneath my feet

Darkness envelops me
suffocating me, stifling me

I see no reflection, no response
Just dark dank deep despair

No hope, no steps to climb back out
Out of the slippery slope

Wasted efforts, spent years
Cannot remove the monkey from me, breathing heavily in my ear

Pushing me into the swirling mists
Dragging me lower, into the depths

The cold, creeping tentacles of angst
Surrounds my soul, tighter, freezing me with its touch

Whither shall I run? Where shall I flee?
It is inside and I cannot flee from me

So I hope and pray it is temporary
and await my salvation, my saviour,
to come and set me free

TRK

The heavenly debate in the balance

2006-01-05T03:00:00.000-08:00

The heavenly court goes quiet, the hustle and bustle dies down, as the prosecuting angel steps forth. "Oh mighty one" he addresses the Divine Judge. "You of all people know that this mean has lived a long and fruitful life, his time has come. It is time to put an end to it"

"Objection" shouts the defending angel. "Presumptive argument, move to strike. Under section 4(b) subsection two of the law, there is a special dispensation for leaders who are needed by their people. I demand the invocation of this rule."

"And what say the people?" spoke the heavenly judge, the One who sees and knows all.

"Oh great one" pleaded the defender. "Do you not hear their cries, do you not heed their pleas? Will you grant this man more time, in your abundant mercy, to fearlessly lead your people?"

to be continued ....

On Procreation and Darwinism

2005-12-31T23:00:00.000-08:00

Darwinian natural selection throughout history has favored those males who are more interested in chasing women, in hunting after them, going out of their way to entice them, seduce them, persuade them to join the male in having progeny.

Those males who contained these genes were more successful in procreating and had more children than those men who were happy by themselves, those who had less desire and drive to go after women. The men who were happier sitting at home, maybe even with one woman, had fewer children than the go-getter, the pro-active one, the one who used every method available to fulfill the divine internal command to further the human race in accordance with the first commandment, the most rational and logical of them all.

This resulted in more humans with the chasing gene, the one willing to do everything in its power to promote the worthy goal of Peru Urevu, of ensuring the continued survival of humans and we should embrace the role that gene has performed in our continued existence and expansion, Kein Yirbu.

TRK

On women, a clarification

2005-12-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

I get the impression that my previous post was misunderstood by my female readership. Like all the great philosphers, thinkers and poets throughout history, my words are being debated in bars and batey midrash up and down the country. Or maybe not.

What I do mean is that most people of the female persuasion (I love persuading people they are female!) want a man with some courage, cahunas, bravado, spiwit. Stwike him thentuwian, stwike him wufly and fwow him to the floow.

They like a guy who will go up to them and talk to them, ask them for their number, take an interest in them. They are far more likely to want that guy rather than the shy retiring one who sits in the corner all night saying nothing. Be the big bear with the claws.

Too many guys waste too many opportunities to meet good girls because they sit around on their safe, cowardly ass. That's my point. That's the way they are programmed. And once you've got their number and asked them out - compliment them. They deserve it. Be interested in what they have to say. That's what they are looking for.

Thanks for listening

TRK

Guys, have no fear, use your claws

2005-12-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

Gentlemen,

I don't want to give too much of the game away and then have to compete with you in the big jungle of life, but I thought I'd pass on a few words of wisdom from some of the Gedolim of the last generation (censored for publication) and leave you to draw your own conclusions. They pass on the message far better than I ever could (or would wish to).

"You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs... And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner ... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?" You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering. And you got these claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?

You're so money and you don't even know it!

I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.

You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.

Oh Mikey do you think I even know what the hell they are talking about half the time? I don't know whether they are talking about how hard it is to be adopted or how their father never shows them love. All I do man, is I wrinkle my eyebrows, stare at their lips and somehow I turn out to be some big sweetie.

Oh, Mike, respect my ass. What they respect is honesty. Look you see how they dress when they go out. Right? They want you to notice 'em. Now all your doing is letting them know it's working. You got to get off of this respect thing. There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that your money and that you want to party."

Trust me, these giants knew what they were saying, it is up to us to listen and learn from their ways.

TRK

The sound of music

2005-12-16T07:13:00.000-08:00

Continuing with my theme of powerful forces, music is another unappreciated one. We are often unaware as to how powerful and influential music can be. Allow me to illustrate.

We consciously or unconsciously associate music with aspects of our lives, with a particular boyfriend, a sporting event, a tragedy. Sometimes you can hear a song and remember exactly where you were and what you were doing the first time you heard it.

Many couples have "their song", which is a powerful effect and can carry over for many years after they split up. One guy I know chose this as his song for his girlfriend (warning: explicit lyrics and not very nice ones either. Needless to say they are no longer together!).

If we take a minute to stop and examine the words of most contemporary songs, we'd agree that they aren't necessarily the most instructive or appropriate things to have running through your head (running through your head). Do the girls really want to visit Fitty's candyshop? Or Avril going down is perfect to be humming during chazaras hashatz. I'm not advocating Jewish music per se, nor a reductionist isolationist view of the world, rather an awareness of the powers that surround us.

Let's open our eyes and see what influences us, what insiduously works its devilish way into our brain and hearts, affecting our feelings and thoughts. Let's understand the power of the niggun in chassidut, Rebbe Nachman's thought, telling us how music touches our soul and connects us with the upper worlds.

TRK

The power of manipulation

2005-12-14T07:49:00.000-08:00

Like a drug, once tasted you find it harder to go without your fix. Knowing you can control someone, have power over them, influence their lives to such a degree. Better than sex (apparently).

I've seen men manipulate women into doing the stupidest most pathetic things, they just play on their insecurities, feed them the right lines, even tell them the dreaded ILY phrase just to have their way with them.

I've seen women turn intelligent, normally controlled men into gibbering wrecks, tongues lolling at the sight of a bit of leg or a revealing top, persaude men to hand over large wads of cash for all sorts of ridiculous pleasures.

I've seen impressionable students fall under the allure of a charismatic, dynamic teacher, following him into the unknown and beyond. Imagine being in the shoes of that leader having such control over your followers and you'll understand how easy it is to abuse that, how addictive and dangerous it can be.

I've seen politicians lie so often that if they tell you it is raining you have to go outside to check. They will hold on to their privileged position, beyond their time, just for another hit of this drug.

I've seen the dangers of this drug, can anyone point me to rehab?

TRK

The Tzitzit Conundrum

2005-12-13T07:33:00.000-08:00

You guys will know what I'm talking about. You are getting pimped up, ready for a night out. You find your one good shirt that doesn't need ironing, slip on your bestest pants and slide into your finest shoes. Ready to shine, dressed to kill. Now do you or don't you leave on the Arba Kanfos?

Let's take it as granted that you don't have the stinky brown smelly things that are enamoured by Yeshiva Bochurim worldwide. The ones that poke out of their neck accusingly at you - look at me, they say, I'm being worn every day for years on end without any time to take me off and wash me (like the Rogachover legend about not getting his hair cut). Not those. If you have them - wash them please. Right now. On behalf of all mankind, thank you.

I'm also not talking about those of you for whom a night out entails you not being able to say Hamapil because you are Bemakom Ervah, vehamevin yavin. For you people I'm not sure whether to tell you davka to wear them (the mussary side of me) and it might prevent you, or to tell you to keep up the good work (the jealous side). Oh the joys of being conflicted.

I'm also not getting involved in the machlokes whether or not to wear them at night. Way too convoluted for this forum.

My question is, when we are getting ready to go out, do we leave them on? My personal minhag is when I'm feeling all frum and fuzzy then I will, if I am getting dressed to impress, then I won't. What's yours?

TRK

Books Books Books, I'm looking for the good times

2005-12-11T15:16:00.000-08:00

I love Books. I love reading them, browsing them, flicking through them, nodding sagely at books that I've already read, gasping excitedly at discovering a book I've been meaning to read, pulling it off the shelf and immersing myself in it even for a few brief moments.

The first place I home in on when I walk into someone's house is their bookshelf. I barely say hello, often forget to scrape off the doggy-do from my tainted shoes, such is my haste. Any girl who can't share that desire, that unquenchable thirst for knowledge and childish yearning to discover more is not for me. Sorry Pamela, you got the wrong Kid, though this one does also Rock!

I'll read history, philosophy, faction, fiction, really really bad trashy fiction that you are too embarassed to tell anyone but you secretly love. Biographies, classics, not-yet-classics, harry potters, science, Torah related books on a variety of subjects. An eclectic mix that broadens my horizons, tantalizes me, expands my experience and enriches my world.

I can't imagine a world without books, a wintery friday night without something to curl up to and escape the pounding rain, a long summer Shabbat afternoon in the garden with a cold coke and a good book. Long live google, bring on the World Electronic Library but don't take away my books.

Some of you will be nodding right now. WAKE UP! But seriously, not everyone is as lucky as me. There are those who did not really grow up with reading books as a part of their life. Nowadays many spend their time boggle-eyed on IM and reading every sports page available just in case someone else thinks the Colts won't make 16-0.

Others have been very restricted in what they can read. I've been into these people's houses. A fair number of them grew up in open homes, with a liberal tolerant philosphy as to what they could read, but due to various pressures, more social than religious, they no longer keep anything unkosher on their shelves. I understand the attitude, I just can't agree with it. It is G-d's world we are reading about here. I might post another time about how important questioning and discovering outside inspiration is to improving Emunah, but Ein Kan Makom Lehaarich.

I recently heard about the Book Thing. What an incredible idea. I think we should spread this idea across the world. Especially in Jerusalem, I remember not finding a library in Jerusalem, and I think the idea of an open book place for people to donate or take books as they please would be fantastic. Any volunteers?

Thank you L-rd for providing us with this wonderful vehicle for transmitting knowledge and for granting us Johannes Gutenberg without whom our lives would be much poorer.

p.s. anyone know the song reference in the title?

a rejewvenated TRK

Marvellous moshol

2005-12-01T00:28:00.000-08:00

"Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colourful, marvellous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.

One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.

But then she thought: He might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly.

And she felt alone.

And she thought: "I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again."

The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.

She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends, who said: "Now you have everything you could possibly want." However, a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.

One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds.

If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realised that what thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.

Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. "Why have you come? she asked Death. "So that you can fly once more with him across the sky." Death replied. "If you had allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him even more; alas, you now need me in order to find him again"."

(thanks to Paulo Coelho)

On concerts, football and prayer

2005-11-30T05:02:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had that feeling of chills down your spine, atingling feeling on the back of your neck while at a concert or at a football game? Your band is coming on to play your favorite song and 75,000 people are joining in all the words. Vinateri is kicking the Super-bowl winning field goal with 0.03 left on the clock.

You sense that feeling of unity, the togetherness, the common purpose. Berov Am Hadras Melech. Voices as one, a harmony of song, mass exultation. That feeling of being part of a momentous moment, a life changing event. Tomorrow will not be the same as yesterday, all because of today.

You are a part of something great, something huge, something that stretches across boundaries, crushing borders in its wake. Forging relationships across nations, worlds that could never normally meet. Standing as one, before G-d, together.

Have you ever?

TRK

Can I be a Orthofem?

2005-11-24T18:18:00.000-08:00

An orthowhatee? Not a new contraceptive drug, but an orthodox feminist. Let's temporarily ignore my beer-swilling, ball-scratching, football-watching tendencies (how will I cope when it's not football season? take up sewing?) I'd like to put forward the argument, ask the question, raise the issue and get it out in the open.

I believe that women should be as Halachically involved as they want to be. Not because men and women are equal (come on, we all know we're not - one of us is far superior and you know who it is) but because as aspiring inspired Jews we want to be able to use the full gamut of religious experience available to us. Because when I put myself in women's shoes (not just prancing around the bedroom in high heels and make-up pretending to be Madonna) I catch a glimpse of how frustrating the communal experience can be. Guys, imagine going regularly to shul knowing you weren't allowed to get an aliyah, pesichah, have hagbaah competitions, show off your davening abilities from the amud, and even in some places say kaddish for a loved one. Simchas Torah often becomes a dull spectacle, you can't always run for office on many shuls, you are dhimmi, a second-class citizen in Jewish communal life.

I dream of a time when women can be halachically as involved as they would want to be. We have made many great strides in this area and I believe we will continue to do so. My motive is not a strictly feminazi one, not because we've abolished gender boundaries and identity, rather because I want G-d seeking Jews to be able to experience as much as possible to bring them closer to the aibishter.

Lets get one thing absolutely clear before you take me down like The Fridge on a wet chicago evening with the score tied at 17-17, first and goal with overtime looming. I am an avid fan of Halachah, going to all the home and away games. I believe in it, it is The Derech, it guides my Path and forges my Way. I wouldn't advocate a policy that doesn't have what I consider sufficient halachic authority behind it.

Which is why I ask myself - can I be an Orthofem? I fully accept Orthodoxy and Halachic process, so is my version of feminism acceptable? Or is that existential dissonance between what I dream and hope for, and what is not yet HC (Halachically Correct) too much to handle?

Chag Sameach

TRK

The guide for the indolent

2005-11-14T22:12:00.000-08:00

1. Get up. Move.
2. Pray. Open yourself to Gd. Buy yourself a siddur, a special one, one that you use to pour your heart out to Him.
3. Read something you enjoy, that inspires you, that makes a difference in your life.
4. Go out somewhere, get away, go hiking, spend a weekend away, invite some friends over for ice cream and a movie.
5. Set yourself attainable goals and tasty incentives. Then work towards those goals and eat those incentives.
6. Take pride in who you are, consider yourself lucky you have working limbs and brain, and use them well.
7. Surround yourself with friends who can support you, who care about you, who will tell you the truth however painful it might be yet who will be there for you when you need them.
8. Remember, life is to be lived one day at a time.

TRK

The dangers of mussar

2005-11-07T01:22:00.000-08:00

Many of us will remember those days in Yeshiva, the long hours into the night, reading mesilas yesharim, shaaray teshuva etc., trying to work on ourselves. Work on our middot. Work on our bittul zman. Remeber every minute of every day Shivisi Hashem LeNegdi Tomid, even in the bathroom, in bed, everywhere, He is there, watching, waiting, recording our every action and thought for posterity. Elevated goals, worthy aims for Bney Torah, future potential Talmidey Chachamim and Gedoley Hador.

With the first step outside the four ells of the Beis Medrash walls, reality bites. It smacks you like the freezing winter wind, burning your face and wrapping its icy tentacles round your soul. Where have all the bochurim gone? Why is everyone obsessed with Bennifer, with Bradenifergelina, with everything but spiritual improvement? College students looking to engorge themselves on alcoholic beverages, worshipping "Frank the Tank" and not the Chazon Ish. I'm not going to achieve Ruach Hakodesh in this atmosphere!

All the learning, davening, good deeds, smiling and being a mensch I do is not good enough. I'm still mevatel zeman, not finishing off masechtas like they were orcs and I am Aragorn, cutting my way through them, discarding them on my quest through Shas. My thoughts are not as tahor as they once was, I am subjected to a barrage of flesh, an avalanche of decadence, everywhere I turn my nemesis attacks me. What am I? A failure! I've let my Rebbes down, my family, the Ramch"al, and most of all the Aibishter. They had such high hopes of me getting ruach hakodesh and I can't even concentrate during long tachanun! But there was no way they could shelter me from this, certainly not for more than a year or two. Why didn't they prepare me for this?

Never mind that I swim against the crowd, I get up for davening (almost) every morning, I have daily chavrutot, I help other people out with their learning, I invite people over, I keep shabbos and yomim tovim, I try and sanctify G-d's name by being a good person. Never mind that Hashem treasures those few hours of learning I manage to do during the week, despite the pressures of work, study, etc. Forget the fact that being a good honest mensch in today's world is so crucial, so important, so fundamental to Hashem's plans for us.

The GUILT of not fulfilling that impossible dream, the unrealistic hope that was drummed into me, the unfulfilled dreams of Rebbes who didn't make it, all weighing down on my shoulders, whispering into my ear "you failed, you are a bad Jew, you let Am Yisroel down".

To be continued .....

TRK

Sleep-waking

2005-10-31T00:53:00.000-08:00

I used to dream that I wouldn't have to sleep during the night, so I could get done all the things I wanted to do.

Now I sleep even when I am awake.

The Pretty Woman dance

2005-10-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

You wink at me, turn your head slightly, flick your hair back. I'll sidle over and introduce myself, get your name, more your number.

I'll call, we'll talk, soon meet, and walk. Coffee, food, dinner and drinks. A true gentleman, suave and witty, cocksure yet good-humored.

We'll dance around each other, twirling, whirling, feeling the tempo, the beat cursing through our veins. Can you feel the rhythm?

But don't you know the music ends? Can't you hear the band fading out, the song never goes on forever. You are so beautiful a vessel, fair of skin with a smile so radiant it could light its way through a three state power cut.

Yet this is just a one-time dance. I have to go back across the country, to dance where I live, not to return to this dancefloor for a while.

Why would you think that I would look for a dancing partner based on her looks? Aren't you aware it's a game I play, a compulsion when faced with pretty dancers, something I can't control. This is the way of the world, the sky is blue, the sea is wet, and TRK dances with pretty girls.

But TRK's full time dancing partner will not be a particularly pretty face, one who has always had dancers chase her all her life. No, this is not the way. I will dance to my own tune, with someone who can hear that music too.

Happy hunting

TRK

An ode to the Mechitzah

2005-10-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

The twitch of a curtain, a veil

hiding for us your purity and virtue

the allure, the magnetism, the attraction

revealing one tefach, hiding two

but when the curtain falls, revealing all

the mystery is gone

and the cold harsh reality sets in

TRK

Rav Kook on Teshuva

2005-10-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

This is a huge and incredible topic. I will scratch the surface now in my amateurish fashion and hopefully come back to it another time.

Anyone not familiar with Rav Kook's views should try and read up on them. They are fantastic, incredible, sometimes outlandish but always stimulating and challenging.

Sin and repentance take on a new light in Rav Kook's thought. Sin is natural and inevitable, an outcrop of nature being material and static. Teshuva is a cosmic process of returning to G-d, man's individual Teshuva enables the universal Teshuva as well. Teshuva links everything with the Divine.

Rav Kook believed that the human desire for progress, excellence, freedom and an ordered life emanates from a basic human need to get close to G-d, which is the fundamental of human life. Every culture and religion is an illumination of the divine light amongst humans.

The most startling idea for me is the idea of human progress, improving the world, making it a more civilized place, this is Teshuva. He explicitly mentions ecomonically and socially improving society which goes together with personal atonement and repentance - it is all one deed, one act.
There is so much more to say, and even the small amount I have said I haven't expressed particularly well (a major problem with Rav Kook's thought) but I hope I gave you an inkling into his ideas.

Tzom Kal and have a meaningful day.

TRK

The one sin I can't do Teshuva for

2005-10-11T23:12:00.000-07:00

(I hope that title piqued your curiosity). As I stood there before G-d, trying to ignore my litany of errors and sins, one big fat gargantuan monster sticks out at me, accusing me, berating me, rebuking me. WHY DO U NOT LIVE IN ISRAEL??? Why are you too lazy and comfortable to get your pasty, white, sweet-potato pie American ass on a NBN flight and move to the Land of the Jews? (I can see Jameel and OC jumping up and down saying "Now that's what I'm talkin' about").

I don't think there is teshuva for this one. The only possible response is to claim that all my Rabbonim chose to stay in the US (to save my aforementioned pasty ass from assimilation?). What's my excuse?

TRK

Confession time pre-RH

2005-09-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

I discontinued the "Confessions of a Rabbi's Kid" series, it became too personal and too juicy. However, in light of the Rambam's statement that we should confess publicly our sins to our fellow (wo)man, I humbly beg forgiveness for the following:

1. I slandered whole groups of people, mainly Charedim and Arabs. Statements like "Why don't those backwards, extremist UO Jews with their holier-than thou snobby chumraisms get a job, a life and an education?" and (post-pigua) "Let's carpet bomb Ramallah and Gaza like the Allies did to Dresden - that'll teach the murdering scum a thing or two". Neither statement is justified or warranted about generally peace-loving normal ordinary people who wish to get on with life and serve G-d.

2. Due to my overly flirtatious nature, I have probably messed around with some female minds and emotions. It is an impulse, one that I must keep under control will try and do so.

3. I'm also not the most sensitive of people, so I'll make fun or blurt out comments that are better left unsaid. For all that I am sorry and promise to improve.

There's obviously lots more, but I think this will suffice for one session. I'll have further posts about Teshuva and forgiveness, them being major topics in my life right now.

TRK

To my Ex

2005-09-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

Dearest Ex,

I want you to realize why we could never have worked and why I was forced to tell you that you were holding me back. Look at me then and look at me now. When I was with you, my spiritual life was a mess. I wasn't growing or improving, I was stagnant.

Check out your other boyfriends since me. Regular guys, maybe keep shabbat maybe not. Nothing too special about them, they aren't gonna try and change the world, no great ambitions, normal people. They're probably never going to inspire anyone to live a Jewish life.

I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. Making Torah a part of my life again, exploring avenues to become a better more knowledgeable Yid, maybe even make a difference to other people. You would not be the right one to join me on the road, hand in hand the entire way. In fact, you held me back from that path.

I couldn't allow myself to settle where I was and be happy with my unadvanced state. I always believed that I was destined for better things and I still hope I am. I must aim high, because I only got one shot.

You did not contain the requisite Oooomph to stick by me and journey with me through this incredible thing called life searching for an ever-elusive G-d. I hope one day to find that girl who can do that with me, but you were not The One. Sorry.

Eternally not yours,

TRK

Anu Ratsim Vehem Ratsim - two of a kind

2005-09-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

One runs towards the light, the other away.

One is up at the crack of dawn to pray, the other is walking home in the same clothes he wore the evening before.

One chases mitzvos, the other chases skirts.

One uses entertainment to relax after a busy day, the other uses it to fill the void in his empty meaningless life.

One elevates food to a holy activity by the mere recital of a few crucial words, the other wolfs down what he can get his hands on, unthinking, unfeeling, ungrateful.

One reflects on his past seeing what he can do better, the other reflects on his conquests, seeing how many more notches he can get.

Which one are you? Which one am I?

TRK

Stopping for Minchah

2005-09-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

Have a break, stop for Minchah. Working your hiney off all day, slumped in front of a computer screen is not the ideal. We often need to take a little moment to relect, to stop, to pause. Whether it be for G-d, for your family or for your souls. It's time that we all need but so few of us take advantage of. Stop running too fast through life, take time to enjoy the view.

TRK

If you won a million dollars ....

2005-09-21T20:43:00.000-07:00

How many of you would continue in your current job?

What does that say about us?

TRK

To future TRK in 20 years time - a reminder

2005-09-20T13:13:00.000-07:00

Dear TRK in the future,

Hey, how ya doing? Remember when you were younger and you weren't the biggest fan of authority and always wanted to run away and do the opposite of everything they said? Remember how lucky you were that your parents were always supportive, gave you the room and the space to grow, to explore, to make your own decisions and mistakes without overly prying?

Well, hopefully you'll have a bundle of mini-TRK's running around the place by now (though at this rate they'll either be to different mothers out of wedlock, or I should address this to TRK in 40 years time?). Anyway, don't be a disciplinarian. Your daughter will be loved and understood if she goes to parties and dies her hair pink (though if 80's fashion even looks like coming back in I'm getting a vasectomy right now!). Your son can hang out with his dudes and look after himself and always be welcomed back with open arms.

Maybe I should write a letter to my future self detailing my own shenanigans ("if anyone says shenanigans one more time I'll pistol whip them" - BIG prize if you know the film), but there's NOOOO way I'd detail them here - sorry beloved readership. Not a chance. A cat in a freezing over hell has more chance!

TRK

Simon Wiesenthal zt"l

2005-09-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

News has just come through that he passed away. I hope this doesn't mean that the few remaining free muderers breathe a sigh of relief. May they be hunted down and tortured slowly, wherever they live, in the name of SW and everyone else. I hope they die slow, painful, excruciating deaths. They should never merit to see children or grandchildren. The fires of hell await them, purgatory of the worst kind. Special roped off extra-hot sections for all the regular killers, rapists and molestors to gawk at the Nazis, and consider themselves lucky they were not part of it.

And may we know no more suffering, amen.

TRK

Female Bloggers And Commenters Beware

2005-09-18T23:07:00.000-07:00

Not speaking on behalf of any of the other male single blogsters out there, but I am sure I am not alone. We have our own little ideas about what is going on here. You are sitting around reading this, a bevy of implant-adjusted Pamela Anderson look-a-likes, giggling away. You'll write a comment and then maybe have a pillow fight or some mud-wrestling. There are slumber parties where you will go round discussing your favorite aspect of TRK. Each and every one of you cause men to swoon, you would be worth cutting off a limb and moving to some war-torn third world country just for a glimpse of your smile.

I just thought you might want to know :-)

TRK

Help me help you help me

2005-09-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

Haven't you found that helping others, giving them advice, being a good listener is sometimes the best tonic for yourself? When you are surrounded by woes, singing the blues, down in the dumps, turn to a friend. Not for help, but to help them. You warm them up, which warms you up, which warms them up even more. It works.

The only problem is, I am the best at giving this advice out and the worst at listening to it. Including this one (bit of a circular conundrumic paradox there, on a par with "I always lie").

TRK

We can work it out

2005-09-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend.

Feeling low, lethargic, down and blue? Work it out. Get off your lazy fat ass, go jogging, cycling or down to sweat off some of that frustration and excess crap at the local gym. Get your pasty, white, bloated, fatty body outside, pump those endorphins through your body, let the rivulets of sweat sting your eyes.

Breathe the fresh outdoor air, be like Lance, pedal those legs like the wheels on the bus up the steep hill of your apathy. Pull yourself up on the chin-up bar of your dreams. Lift those weights of depression, jog away those tears. Trust me, it works.

TRK

A Tale of Two Communities

2005-08-31T23:46:00.000-07:00

It was the best of places, it was the worst of places. Community A provides for the needs of every child, preparing them for a life of Torah and a life of Parnasah. B focuses on the Torah, claiming the preparation for Parnasah is bitul zeman.

Both A and B encourage their students to study for some years in Yeshiva Gedola, but those in A who are not going to stay in full time learning, becoming Rebbes, Rabbonim, Roshey Yeshiva and Talmidey Chachamim, have no doors closed to them when it comes to making a parnasah. They can become doctors, lawyers, accountants and do so with alarming regularity. But they are professionals who not only attend daf yomi and have chavrutas, they are often more than capable of giving the shiur itself.

Many of those in B who are not going to become Talmidey Chachamim stay in learning, some by default, others by inertia, a few do it to get a "good" shidduch. A lot of people in B have decided to have large families, yet lacking the wherewithal to provide for their needs, becoming reliant on charity. Some do go out to work, though they are often limited in their choice and range of profession due to their lacking the requisite background.

The religious knowledgeable professionals in A use their wealth to support those in the community who have continued in learning, to enable and allow them to grow into the talmidey chachamim they have the potential to be, unfettered by the millstone of providing their families with daily bread. This symbiotic relationship accurately reflects the age-old Yissachar Zevulun arrangement. There is no supercilious snobbery on the behalf of those who have stayed in learning, they have done so because they are to become the religious leaders of the community and they fully appreciate their partners and supporters in this system.

Those in B who for whatever reason have decided to work are considered dhimmi, second-class citizens, bedieved Jews, less worthy or accomplished than those who sit in learning all day. Even the ones who are only still in learning due to the lack of any reasonable alternative and don't even spend most of the day sitting and learning, still consider themselves and their families superior and more exalted than the worker drones.

Community A has organized its affairs to be self-sufficient, self-supporting, solely reliant on its own members to contribute back to the community to support those in education or studying to become leaders. B depends on outside funding and contributions to support its institutions and families, even those who are in the system by default or inertia, who do not contribute to the workforce and who actually syphon off funds that would be better spent supporting those are will succeed in full-time long-term learning.

Being a product of community A, does it make sense that I feel I should contribute back to A rather than B?

TRK

(p.s. I know these are archetypal communities, not real ones, so don't get into that. Also, please try and keep away from the UO/MO debate for now. Furthermore, please just assume that A also produces talmidey chachamim. Thank you)

Booknote: The children shall die for the father's sins

2005-08-31T08:24:00.000-07:00

I dug up a small treatise written by Rabbi Solomon Rappaport entitled "Fathers and Children: Collective and Individual Responsibility in Jewish Thought" published in 1963. The main theme running through the book is the contradiction between Exodus 20:5 "visiting the iniquity of the fathers unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me" and Deuteronomy 24:16 "the fathers shall not be put to death for the children, nor the children for the fathers, but every man shall be put to death for his own sin".

These two verses reflect the tension between individual and collective responsibility in Jewish thought and practice, there being ample source material for both ideas in Biblical and Rabbinic thought, as well as other classic and oriental systems that the author surveys.

Some Bible critics resolved the conflict in the Bible by claiming that the original collective viewpoint gave way to the concept of individual responsibility. The author claims there is no systematic approach that can fully resolve the two concepts of retribution. The most rational explanation is one where individual responsibility is applied mainly to crime, while collective responsibility is generally the result of sin. However there are Biblical situations which do not fit into this pattern.

Some fascinating Midrashim and statements are brought to support or explain both individual and collective responsibility.The discussion incorporates the concepts of the merit of the fathers, zechut avot, merit of the children, original sin, as well as Rabbinic attempts to mitigate the harshness of the verse in Exodus by interpreting it to apply only to those children who follow in the ways of their parents in sin, or that the death of minor children comes to atone for the parents. The Talmud brings the incredible viewpoint that the prophets actually abolished this concept in Exodus!

In conclusion, this issue is one that has troubled me and continues to do so. Should innocent children perish for their father's sins? Yet children are directly affected by their parent's lifestyle choices, behaviour patterns and education. The author has done a good job drawing together an abundance of sources on this topic, and concludes that "it is difficult to present a normative biblical-rabbinic doctrine on the question of collective and individual responsibility ... The dominant trend constitutes a synthesis between individualism and collectivism ... A healthy society harmonises the mutual responsibitity of individual and community to each other."

May we merit to live in such a society soon.

TRK

Is everything really in the Torah?

2005-08-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

I'll be brief. We all know the adage, hafoch bah hafoch bah dekulo bah. Delve in it for everything is in it. Yet it is surely self-evident that there is much that is not in it, nor is it meant to cover everything.

I could go on for hours, but what's your view on the issue?

TRK

A tearful goodbye

2005-08-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

The painful images sear into my mind's eye,
Families led from their homes, their world.

A vale of tears across a strange land,
celebrations for the vanquished, the victors.

Children held aloft, never to see home again,
Their holy earth scorched, sun-baked, lost.

Where did they wrong? Why were they abandoned?
Didn't they follow G-d to a Land not yet sown?

They marched onwards like Lot, not looking back,
Left their people behind, for fear of turning round.

Now they are turning, returning, being turfed out,
Back to the waiting arms of those they forgot.

Let the downtrodden, the endangered, those who lived in fear,
Fear no more and live in peace, Amen.

TRK

I love being a guy

2005-08-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

So you get home running late for a date? Big deal! Five minute shower, couple of sprays under the arms, throw on pants, shirt. Do some teeth care, quick check in the mirror, dab of apres-rasage and out the door we go. Total time taken - 9-11 minutes.

Did I tell you I love being a guy? Girls, fess up as to how long it takes you.

TRK

Newsflash: Jewish Temple burning

2005-08-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

We've just received a report that the war in Jerusalem has reached new levels. Over to our reporter who is on the scene:

Yes, thank you. I'm here now overlooking the city of Jerusalem and as you can see behind me the Romans have succeeded in breaking into the Jewish Temple, their most holy place and set it alight. The flames have spread through most of the Temple mount, not before the invading army plundered the area of it's holy artifacts.

I have here the Roman army spokeman. What can you tell me about today's events?
We warned those pesky vermin that if they didn't give in to us, surrender peacefully and dismantle their anti-Roman centers of worship we would have to forcibly destroy their Temple, and we've proven that nobody can stop the might of the Roman Empire.

I also have with me a member of the hard-line Biryoni clan - what is your reaction to today's incredible events?
We will never surrender to the Roman invaders. Our mission is to fight back, to respond with any force we can, down to the last remaining fighter. We shall not give up.

And you over here from the Ben Zaccai faction, what do you say?
We believe is it time to move on and rebuild Jewish life outside Jerusalem, we are planning to convene soon in Yavneh to redefine the concept of Jewish prayer and to ensure that the Jewish religion survives these times of upheaval.

Well, that's all from me here in Jerusalem, over to you back at the studio.

Thank you for that report. In other news, Nero has just bought his first fiddle .....

TRK

On Voyeurism and Shyness

2005-08-12T00:10:00.000-07:00

I love discovering blogs of people I know, or I think I know and have to read through the blog and emtpy the dark recesses of my memory to figure out who the person could be. It satisifes my g-d-like curiosity, gleaming an insight into people's inner thoughts and lives. There may be one or two out there who gaze pruriently into my blog, hoping to discover new and exciting facts about me, though anyone who knows me well enough can understand and appreciate that the thoughts I expound are merely an extension of my personality.

I recently uncovered a blog of a girl I've met a few times. An eye opening experience. This quiet, shy, demure, seemingly introverted female leads an interesting life, has lots to say and plenty to contribute. So why had she always sat there quietly, letting others do the talking? I know people are shy, even I (the great TRK) gets shy in certain limited surrounding (backstage at the SI swimsuit photoshoot, for example), but peeps, we need to get over it. Especially you single girls out there.

We do not find shyness attractive. Having to break our teeth just to get a sentence out of you, not feeling that we could conduct a fascinating conversation with you. So forget all your fears, build up some dutch courage (you gotta love the dutch and their courage - helped me achieve some of my finest moments in life) and open your mouth. Don't be afraid. Be outgoing, happy, friendly, talkative, show us who you are. Trust me.

Gnight and G-d bless

TRK

Spammers should be shot at dawn

2005-08-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

I just merited to receive my first bunch of spamming comments. My cool. calm, collected response is that spamming should be made a capital offence, akin to piracy, and that there should be no jurisdictional issues so that any country can prosecute, torture and slowly kill by leaving the said spammer in a vacuum with my smelly socks.

Imagine how awful it is to see that you have lots of comments, your heartbeat goes faster, your hand excitedly grips the mouse as you teasingly click on the "15 comments" link, savoring the pleasure that comes from knowing people have taken the time out to tell you what crap you write. As you scroll down blogger's box, the excited high becomes a sinking low, reality kicks in and you realize your only commenter is an advanced computer program somewhere in the Phillipines written by a 15 yr old four-eyed geek with no friends and no life. That kind of pain and anguish should be punishable by a brutal, nasty and slow death - the smelly-sock routine - perfectly proportionate in my eyes.

I remember when I got my first p*nis enlargement email. My first thought was an eye opening "How the hell could they know?" followed by a quick "Who could've told them?" after which a thorough search of my bedroom and bathroom for hidden webcams followed, one which would make the FBI proud. It was only after receiving my seventh or eighth that I realized I wasn't being targeted here and I felt comfortable enough tenderly broaching the subject to my friends to see if they got them as well. I then had the idea that if each one PROMISES to increase by 2-4 inches, then if I sign up to 3 or 4 of them I shall soon become King Dong. Let's just say that didn't work, and I have the references to prove it.

Then there was the loveable trustworthy Nigerian man who only needed me to open up a bank account for him so he could transfer his 20 million dollars outside the country, and he was nice enough to promise me 10% of that. I'm still waiting. The Microsoft Beta test which guaranteed me a check for every person I forwarded it to, but after swamping my family and friends' inboxes for weeks it seems that only the people before me in the chain got paid, I must've done it too late. Story of my life.

Dear Spammers, please stop ruining my life. I'm building up my smelly sock collection as we speak, just for you.

TRK

Modern Mussar: Abstinence makes the eyes wander

2005-08-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

Poor Josh Hartnett in "40 days and 40 nights" decideds to give up sex and other related matters for Lent. Despite it being a dumb Hollywood comedy I feel there are some things I can learn.

There's one scene where he is struggling, it's a hot sunny day, and he perceives all the females to be walking around naked. Ladies, just so as you should know what we have to deal with, in our darker moments life can be like that.

Judaism's Lent is probably Elul and the Aseret Yemey Teshuva. It's time I started practicing what I feel I should give up or improve upon in the run up to Yom Kippur. Thank you JH for inspiring me.

Pirkey Avot states that a love which is dependant on something will not last. When that thing disappears, so too will the love. If my relationships and my marriage is mainly based on the physical and I choose my spouse due to my animalistic lust after her curvaceous body, then after 7 kids and 20 years I might prefer my hot young thing of a secretary. Speaking personally, a better connection can be had when a relationship isn't focused on the physical. It blinds me, distorts my view and urges me to boldly go where no man has gone before.

I do believe there has to be physical attraction, however, Mrs TRK, whoever you may be, please respect that I want to get an emotional, intellectual, deep connection with you first.

TRK

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2005-08-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

How we use our leisure time is a real test of who we are. There is a whole world out there to be experienced, tasted, studied and enjoyed. Watching terrible television or checking my sports team's latest news on the web doesn't match up to that. There are museums and theatre to try out, parks and forests to explore, weird and wonderful people with fascinating stories to hear. G-d's beautiful enigmatic universe is right outside my door. I just have to get up, get out and get to it while I still can.

Even if I want to stay inside, there is a wealth of information I could glean from books, culinary adventures I could have in the kitchen, expand my horizons on the net. As always, the net has a lot of good but can easily lead you into a world of pain.

I used to be a hardcore member of the Bittul Zman fellowship, i.e. learn Torah unless you are doing something else absolutely necessary. That ideology has gone off the rails for me somewhat, but I still believe in the theory of living a productive life. Something for me to work on. Anyone understand? Got any advice?

Sunday Bloody Sunday

TRK

Dear G-d, sorry for those who kill in Your name

2005-08-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry. Al Cheyt:
For the madmen who claim to kill in Your Name.
For the innocent victims of Your "holy messengers" who merely want to travel in peace to their destination.
For the Rabbis and Imams who incite people to violence, who indoctrinate them to destroy Your beautiful creations whom You formed in Your likeness.
For the simple disturbed fools who are so brainwashed that they believe their murderous actions will help matters, or will reward them with heavenly virgins.
For those of us who sit quietly by while the killers do their dirty work.
For those who will condemn, yet add a "but ... ".
For those who always point their finger at the Other, never at themselves.
For those callously removed from their homes, forcibly evicted from their abodes.
For the orphans and widows who will never again merit their parent's love, their spouse's embrace.
For the flicker of lost hope, that gets steadily extinguished in the bloodbath of the innocents.

For all of us.

TRK

Ah, look at all the lonely people

2005-08-04T00:25:00.000-07:00

Where do they all come from? My loneliness is killing me, I must confess I still believe.
We all get attacked by the demons of depression, the lows of loneliness. But believe, there is a way to fight it. It feeds off itself, viciously drawing you further and further into the darkness. Struggle out of it, push yourself into the light. Escape from the howls of despair. Pamper yourself. Eat something you enjoy. Hang with friends that make you feel good about yourself. Unburden yourself to them, unlock your soul, unfetter your chains, untie the straitjacket of solitude. Trust me, it works. Like a miracle charm. Get out there, see and experience G-d's incredible world. Be happy to be alive, with friends, on this amazing planet.

When you’re down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am
I’ll come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend.

TRK

Finding G-d part deux: Getting to know His world

2005-08-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

(Part 1 is here). G-d gave us His Torah and His world. Two ways of getting to know Him, different paths, different aspects. Every time we understand one iota of His magnificent universe, we advance our knowledge of Him and His gift to us.

I'm not just referring to the incredible wonders of biology, physics, astrophysics, chemistry, the human eye, DNA, the brain etc. Don't forget everything relating to G-d's creations, including mankind and human society. History, psychology, social studies, philosophy, law, accounting, marketing, finance, etc. Any knowledge and insight we gain concerning ourselves, our world, our lives is an insight into G-d. After all, who created us, our needs and our desires? Who gave us our ability to socialize and interact? It is all from G-d.

Even sports - a soaring MJ, like an angel sent to slam-dunk the demons of Satan, is a religious sight. His ability is a gift from Heaven, combined with a lot of hard work and probably some luck thrown in there as well. Mozart - divine. Rembrandt - sublime. Shakespeare - godly.

Every experience we have, every step further we take individually and collectively, we further our understanding and appreciation of the Ribono Shel Olam and His incredible world, if we would only open our eyes.

TRK

Booknote - Bible Translations

2005-08-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

I dug up from the Rabbi's collection "The Story of Bible Translations" by Max Margolis written in 1917 and published by JPS in 1943. It deals with an area I know too little about, yet is fascinating and gives a window into some important eras in Jewish and Christian history.

The primary ancient Jewish translations are the Targumim and the Septuagint. The Jewish people on their return from the Babylonian exile gradually spoke Hebrew less and less, thereby necessitating a translator - Meturgeman for the reading of the Torah. The Rabbis of the time ordered the translators not to stray too far from the original text and looked askance at written versions of the translation.

Onkelos is the foremost Meturgeman, his version is printed in the standard Chumash with the text. His work is probably a product of Rabbi Akiva's school and many fables have been written about him. Obviously no translation is free of interpretation, nor can it be, and Onkelos' work is most famous for his stance against anthropomorphism and incorporeality. The Rambam could use Onkelos and the other Targumim as a source for the view that G-d has neither form nor figure, a view not discussed in the Talmud and one that was still widely held by many Rabbis in the Middle Ages (cf the Raavad, Teshuvot HaRosh etc - Ein Kan Makom Lehaarich).

The Septuagint/Targum Shivim holds a difficult and controversial place in Jewish history and thought. Without it, Christianity might well have foundered and gone the way of all the other messianic movements of the time, into the trashcan of history. Tradition has it that 72 scholars translated the Torah into Greek in Alexandria, the great city of Egypt, at the behest of the second King Ptolemy.

As the Church became Latinized, Jerome produced an updated and revised Christian translation into Latin in the fourth century, known as the Vulgate.

The Jewish work of the Middle Ages is characterized by treatises on grammar and commentaries to the Bible. Rav Saadiah Gaon wrote on Hebrew grammar and a Hebrew dictionary, as well as translating the Torah into Arabic. Menachem ben Saruk compiled a famous dictionary. Rashi wrote his commentary which included the translation of many difficult words into French. Hebrew grammar developed rapidly in Spain with the likes of Ibn Ezra and his ilk, and Radak (David Kimchi) and his brother Moses Kimchi furthered the cause. Radak's work spread to the Christian world and influenced them heavily.

What intrigued me was the battle waged in the Christian world over translations during the late middle ages and reformation, as well as the effect the invention of the printing press had. Luther's German Bible, intended for the common people, spread through central Europe. Many of the sects and groups in Europe produced their own trnaslations of the Bible as an act of rebellion and for theological purposes. The King James version of 1611 was a response to this, it involved the collaboration of numerous bishops in England and is known as the Authorized version.

Mendelssohn's translation, the Biur, helped emancipate the Jews and bring them into contact with German literature and culture, and was banned by the Chatam Sofer. Shmuel David Luzzato (Shadal) in Italy and Shimshon Raphael Hirsch in Germany fought on behalf of traditional interpretations of the Torah. The Malbim and David Zvi Hoffman were also in that camp. The JPS committee under Marcus Jastrow and then under Solomon Shechter, together with the assistance of the author of the book, eventually produced an American version after many years of work.

The author devotes a chapter to those who funded and sponsored the preparation, publication and distribution of the various works, as well as a list of the various languages and dialects the Bible had been translated to by his time (quite impressive!).

His final chapter discusses the difficulties inherent in any translation - "Words are but sounds and symbols of things, and these things pass away with the civilization that produced them ... Translation, according to Maimonides, is a species of original composition, and the translator a companion to the author ... The Rabbis frown upon all translations. With them the multiple sense of the scriptural word is an accepted fact ... A few passages there are on which the versions of the Church and the translations of the Synagogue must differ, and modern Christian commentators are forced to acknowledge that the Jews are right."

He finished with "The ink may have faded and the parchment may have become brittle, but withal the fiery Word still speaks to us through letters and dots, and with unimpaired force the faith that was implanted in the heart of the Jew is translated to untold millions in the diverse tongues of mankind."

This little gem certainly opened my eyes, broadened my horizons and gave me a new appreciation for many works or commentaries that I may have studied or often ignored till now. It obviously needs updating, it being nearly a century old, yet many of his historical ideas and surveys are unmatched (cf section 2 here). Another fascinating subject (to me) that I hope I shed some light on for you.

TRK

Women, listen up

2005-07-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

Just wanna set a few facts straight about us males. Most of us are not constantly thinking about marriage, not imagining ourselves under the chuppah with our current date, picturing our wedding suit and what color flowers go with what color tie.

We don't consider our life incomplete unless we are betrothed, that our achievements in our career and elsewhere contain little meaning until we walk down that aisle. Give us time to get used to the idea of being tied down, to come around to the fact that we might never be able to partake in the hunt, the chase, the sweet sweet taste of conquest.

If we are in it, we are normally in it for a reason. It could be just for the sex, so you know how to check that out - don't give out the sex (sorry guys, it is the truth). But otherwise we are actually involved because we want to be, staying with it and showing that we have feelings for you, just that we aren't in a rush to run to that church/synagogue/mosque/Elvis-style Vegas wedding chapel.

Saying the old ILY is a really big deal for us - unless we are after play, in which case we'll say anything. But please GIVE US TIME. A friend of mine told me he was getting Mazeltovs from his friends and relatives before anything had happened, merely because she was into it and had told everyone that it was gonna happen, thereby spreading the Word across the country.

Laydees, if it is right after one month it will still be right after three or six months. So stick it out and lay off the pressure. Please. We run the other way from pressure. It pushes us into the arms of waiting harlots, distancing ourselves from commitment, tension and stress.

So just chill and wait it out. Please. If you love him, set him free. Give him the space, the freedom and the time to decide. That'll help him to choose you, accept him for who he is and if it's right it will happen.

For those delectable females who are worried this is a practical issue for me, have no fears my dears, it is not and probably will not be for quite some time at this rate.

TRK

J'Accuse - The IDF, the Settler Rabbis, the Palestinians

2005-07-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

J'Accuse - the IDF

I no longer have faith in the IDF or the Security forces, despite the good work they have done. I've been fuming over this for days, without knowing how or what to write about it. In the past, I would defend the morality of the IDF by claiming they have a code of ethics and they do a good job considering they face the most heinous hornets nest of indoctrinated terrorists ever faced by mankind on their doorstop. Yes, there are some trigger happy 18 yr olds but often the army catches and court martials them. The army knows what it is doing and can be trusted to decide what is necessary for security.

NO MORE. The army and police have shown their true colors, the heavy-handed, brutal tyrants they are. When faced with a few thousand relatively peaceful protestors they acted in an unreasonable and disproportionate manner, depriving them of basic freedoms, inflicting collective punishments and exerting violence on children.

THE SETTLERS ARE THE NEW PALESTINIANS. Demonized in the press, ignored by Israeli society, deprived of basic rights by administrative detention without charge and forced eviction, some marginal sections threaten violence and mutter warnings of assasination. We have seen the true face of the IDF, and there is a lesson for us all.

J'Accuse - the Settler Rabbis

Where are the Yirmiyahus and Yeshayahus of today? Are they too busy shouting from the rooftops that it is forbidden to transfer one parcel of land, to remove one Jew from his home? Do they organize rallies for the starving widows and orphans? Do they even care about our Palestinian nieghbours who we are responsible for, who have been deprived of the economic viability necessary to sustain themselves while the army have turfed many out of their homes. Were enough Rabbis to sufficiently care and to persuade their flock that this mattered, they would find a way to get basic necessities to their Palestinian brethren. Instead they build fancy beautiful settlements on their land, lush green gardens, spacious brick houses opposite the slums and sewage fests and expensive roads through their olive groves for a handful of families.

The Rabbis foamed at the mouth a few years back, when Ben Artsi and his pals refused to serve in the territories for conscientious reasons, they showed no compassion or understanding, merely a ranting and raving at the sanctity and unity of the army, and the importance of carrying out orders. Where are the self-righteous pietists now, with their platitudes and judgements from their lofty towers? Defying the army, ordering their soldiers to disobey orders handed down by their government in accordance with the wishes of the majority of the country. Maybe the IDF would be more sympathetic to those soldiers who expressed a desire to stay behind and guard the base or do other duties during the disengagement, if there wasn't a threat of mutiny and disorder hanging over them. I think there is a lesson there as well.

J'Accuse - the Palestinians

You'd think they would be happy to have driven the Israelis out of Gaza, in their view. A chance to show the world they can run a sensible, healthy, open society. Maybe clamp down on the terrorist networks, join the world in the fight against terror, start working on infrastructure, education, sanitation, improving their society. Doing everything to prevent Kassam rockets to be fired at Israelis. Punishing the murderes of innocent Israelis driving through Gaza. For one period of time to show everyone they are not the bloodthirsty, savage society they are depicted as. To grasp this incredible opportuntiy inexplicably presented by their arch-enemy Sharon, to stand up and be counted and show what they can really achieve when the Israelis move out.

I hope and pray that whatever happens is for the best, and that G-d remove pain and anguish from all of us while granting us all the strength to make the best decisions we can.

TRK

Why do we keep coming back?

2005-07-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

"So you remember the drill, not a word to your parents, friends or Rabbis, right" he said, zipping up his pants.
"Hey, don't worry, I may be just 18 but I'm not dumb. We've lasted this far, haven't we?" she replied while combing out her hair. "Speaking of which, when are you planning on telling your wife about all this?"
"I'll do it, I'll do it, just give me time, it's not a simple thing you know, you gotta let me decide when the moment is right." He put on his jacket and picked up his car keys.
"Last time you promised to do it and you didn't call me for weeks" she cried to his back.
His parting remarks helped nobody. "Yeah, I'm really sorry baby, you know I love you, you are the only one for me, but things are really tough right now with the new house and the baby on the way. I'll call ya, we'll meet up again soon. And I'll do it, I swear."

As they left the hotel and went their seperate ways, they both asked themselves "Why do we keep coming back"?

TRK

Stam Yeynam - need help

2005-07-07T23:39:00.000-07:00

I've been really troubled by the din of Stam Yeynam, that even a mechalel shabbas can't open a non-mevushal. I find it quite objectionable and really problematic - is it a chumrah or halachah lemaaseh, was it always this way? Are there modern Heterim for Tinok Shenishbah? I don't have the time right now to look into it, so if one of the knowledgeable ones out there (you know who you are) can answer me I would very much appreciate it.

TRK

Britain - a ticking time bomb

2005-07-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

Firstly, my sympathy and thoughts go out to our cousins across the pond. Condolences and Refuah Shelemah, and I hope you catch the b&*^rds who masterminded it and torture them very very slowly and very painfully.

More importantly, it was always a question of when rather than if. Britain used to have a laissez-faire policy with Islamic terror groups, whereby they were pretty much allowed to operate out of the UK if they didn't commit any acts of terror on the UK mainland. Once they became pretty well esconsed, it turned out to be a lot harder post-9/11 to track them down and turf them out. Mosques up and down the country were being used as centers of indoctrination, recruiting soldiers in the War against the West.

The civil libs people were so against ID cards. Europe failed to classify Hamas as a terrorist organization. Spain turned its tail and ran (not saying I blame them) which gave them more impetus to carry out their dirty deeds. Red Ken hugs and kisses those who support suicide bombings against the Israeli occupation, how can he complain when they use bombings against the US and UK occupation of Iraq?

I always kept these thoughts to myself, hoping against hope that I would be proved wrong. Well, I wasn't. Let's pray this finally wakes up the rest of Europe to their biggest ongoing crises, the influx of millions of highly impressionable. Forget the EU constitution, if this war breaks out further Europe is looking at a major fifth column across its borders, an insidious enemy who wants to tear it apart from within. People across the world must unite to bring an end to this, do everything we can to win this war.

A deeply upset TRK

The problems of modern discourse

2005-07-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

I find much of today's debate and discussion to rest upon basic axioms, assumptions and personal parameters that differ from one to another. This leads to people debating apples and cars, chalk and cheese without them being aware that they are using differing frames of reference. This particularly happens in the religious and political sphere.

For example, a modern Orthodox Jew and an Ultra Orthodox one will have different assumptions about the role of the Jew in the modern world, his place in society, the function of women in religious society, the binding nature of daat torah etc.Compare that to the Reform Jew who has a different set of assumptions about social action, religion as culture and the evolution of religion. The Christian perceives his historical timeline to flow through Jesus, which the Jew cannot comprehend, and the Muslim believes Mohammad and the Koran to be the arbitrer of truth. This is all based on their conflicting axioms about those issues, each of whom consider these axioms to be self-evident. They could be ther result of education, of investigation, of upbringing, of indoctrination. The source of their beliefs and opinions is irrelevant here. I am trying to make the point theat the parameters of debate rest on these assumptions, without people being aware of it.

The same goes for political arguments - if I believe in self-determination then the woman has the right to choose whether or not to have an abortion, but if I believe it to be murder/against the word of the Lord, then it is wrong. Similarly the concepts of big government, federalist law, affirmative action etc. They often rest on our assumptions about modern life, religion, race, the role of society and government, etc.

I don't want to enter into a political debate, I just wanted to express my ideas that much of what constitutes debate is often really just two people expressing their viewpoint based on their axioms and never the twain shall meet. I'm not sure if I expressed myself clearly enough, it being pretty late at night, but I hope and pray you get my point. Be aware of your parameters of discourse. Or else.

TRK

Shabbos Kodesh

2005-07-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

I love the planning and preparing. The plethora of smells, the culinary delights being whipped up and souped together. The fact that whether winter or summer, you always need that five minutes extra.

Those few moments, just before the 18 minute grace period is up, when you are throwing on your clothes, doing up your belt, tearing paper, running out to shul, running back to switch the light on/off.

And then peace. 25 hours of pure bliss. Tranquility. Serenity. Me, myself and G-d.

Enjoy.

TRK

What to reveal to shidduchim?

2005-07-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

When do we reveal things to our shidduchim, our potential life partners? This is not a practical relevant question for me right now, being on my shidduch sabbatical/hibernation. We all have skeletons in our closet, of differing shapes, sizes and stages of decay.

How many of you have done things that you could never reveal to your spouse/future spouse? I don't know if I have, it would depend on who she is. I think many people would expect all skeletons and dirty laundry to be revealed pre-engagement, unless you are looking for a wham bam thank you mam, meet in the living room while the parents arrange the wedding in the other room relationship.

This is just a bunch of stupid moaning because some people have serious issues to worry about, such as whether they mention mental illness in the family, an inability to have children or a previous abortion, degenerative diseases or suchlike.

Back to sleep.

TRK

A Modern Midas

2005-06-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

The gods looked kindly on him, he was blessed with the gifts of life, health, and brains, and was asked what he wishes for from his gift. What is the one main purpose he will dedicate his gifts for?

He wished his wife should wear gold-earrings, his daughter wears gold sparkly Fifth Avenue clothes, his son has the latest gold-plated X-box, he drives the latest Gold-enamelled lacquered veneer Lexus.

His Wall-street corner office with the gold pen, pencil and letter-opener set, the latest golden Treo, his coiffured secretary with the golden thighs, his priceless Gold Mastercard, the golden tooth he vainly demanded from his dentist.

Their pedigree golden labrador, exquisite golden tulips, gold club members for their ski trips to Europe, a golden donation for the Yom Kippur appeal.

And when the gods ask him what he did with his gifts?

TRK

The Lame Gay Pride Parade

2005-06-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

Friends of mine in Jerusalem reported back to me about the gay pride parade - a bunch of people walking down a street in pink. Booooring. Berlin, London and New York would be disappointed.

People, you wanna get up the noses of the fundamentalists? Raise their hackles, enflame their passions, you listen to me. Get some goddamn huge floats. Bring in DJ Tiesto. Stick lots of naked women and men making out on them. Do it at midday when everyone is crazy and hot from the midday sun.

Pump that music loud as you can. Give out thousands of whistles. Hell, get some Arab and Jewish men to start making out. Or stick some kippot on the gays heads. A bit of juicy lesbianism always gets the crowd going. You wanna stick it to them? Do it on Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Tisha Be'av. In the Old City. That'll show those obscurantist, backwards, middle-ages dwelling, shtetl-loving, ghetto-pining, rabid mouth-foaming, payos growing, homophobic, bigoted, misogynistic, intolerant extremists. You'll definitely raise awareness and gain publicity that way. Take it from me.

TRK

Why Google ruined my life

2005-06-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was an iluy (prodigy - though not the firestarter variety). He could recite shakla and tarya of sugyos, quote films and songs without hesitation, play the Kevin Bacon game for hours on end, while performing complicated math in his head and giving you the years of birth and death of the major Rishonim and Achronim. He could even spell words correctly.

I've since then lost the ability to retain information of any kind. Partially due to my excessive-inebriation habit. And the advancing years. But also due to a lack of need to remember anything. Thanks to google, there are very few pieces of information I actually must remember. Even a useful Chazon Ish or Meiri when arguing with my more UO brethren. My favorite sports team's results for the last 12 years. The history of zionism. I no longer have to sit down and write out lyrics to a song, or listen to it 1001 times before I know all the words. My memory chip has rotted away, burnt out, to be replaced by a website that sounds like something a baby does.

Thank you google.

TRK

Finding G-d Part 1: Love is all you need

2005-06-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

We mustn't let ourselves get sucked into this mundane, dreary existence. At any given moment, we have an opportunity to connect to the Ein Sof, the mysterious, infinite, eternal G-d. How? One method is to find G-d through love. When interacting with the people we love, our spouse, our parents, our kids, we find G-d through love. In the care and concern we show for them, the everyday things we do for those we love, we emulate G-d who carries us through dark times and in our hour of need. Next time you have the opportunity to show your love for those around you, remember you are performing one of the most godly acts man can do, and we make the world a more godly place as we do so. Af Hu Rachum, Ata Rachum.

Spread the love, people. G-d wants it so.

TRK

Night crawler, beware the beast in black

2005-06-28T01:33:00.000-07:00

I love being awake while the world sleeps. It makes you feel that you are alone, one, unique. The long night of the soul. Solitude. Quiet. Serenity. For all you know, the rest of the world has been destroyed in some mega chernobyl-like nuclear holocaust. Yet you sit there blogging away.

One year in Yeshiva over Shavuot I decided that staying up all night pretending to learn was really losing the battle against my body and its incessant need for sleep, so I went to sleep instead, woke up for davening, and learned by myself in the Beis for a few hours till lunch, while the entire world around me slept. Possibly one of my most profound learning experiences (I think I learnt some of Maamarey Hareyiah, Rav Kook's articles). I also loved being awake alone in the dark of the night, the witching hour, while babes suckle from their mothers and women chat to their husbands (Berachot 3a). Though once I had to lock up the big dark shul late at night, after watching an episode of the X-files. That was scary.

I believe that we truly discover ourselves when we are alone, with no one else to distract us or for us to relate our personalities to. Hisbodedus. Don't be afraid to try it. Sitting in the garden on a balmy summer night. Going for a long walk on Shabbat afternoon on your own. Discover your thoughts, your dreams, get to know the real you, as if you were dating yourself. But don't make it the Ikar, the crux. While you are finding the real you, make sure you are still engaged with society, living amongst people, helping them, studying them, learning from others. That is what G-d wants from us.

Veahavta Lereyachah Kamocha - Love your neighbour as you love yourself, but make sure you love yourself.

TRK

p.s. brownie point for anyone who can name the band who wrote the song in the title - without cheating

My thoughts on Aliyah

2005-06-26T23:46:00.000-07:00

She had a great song with "try again", was a hot babe, and looked to have a promising acting career as well until her life was so tragically cut short.

Alright, kidding. I've been bombarded with all sorts of comments concerning my views on Israel. Some think I live there, which is fine because I don't want the people in my community here to know who I am. Others think I hate Israelis due to the "sweaty agressive obnoxious" comment. Twenny agrees but she doesn't count (though you are always welcome to express your view here).

I shan't delve into the same old halachic dispute again, the famous Rambam/Ramban/Megilat Sefer/Avney Nezer/Mitzvah Kiyumis debate. I think it's pretty academic, as is the Midrashic three oaths discussion.

What I do believe is that one can be a good Jew in the US. Daf Yomi on public transport, kosher food to the gills, shuls, yeshivas, etc. One can only be fufilled jew in Israel, the land of our forefathers, the center of our life, the location we pray towards. Not just the fact that there is thousands of years of history there, that there are commandments we can only perform there and not here, but mainly because this is the greatest Jewish enterprise, creating and building a modern Jewish state. And despite my previous comments, I think they've (we've?) been pretty succesful, all in all.

Aha, I hear you exclaim. So why don't I go live there? Well, I'm a sucker for the cash, it's all about the money, it's all about the dum dum diddi dee dum. Money money money, it's so funny, in a rich man's world. Show me the money! Money's too tight too mention. I've got a good life, in a good place, with a good job. Truth is, I struggle enough here trying to be a good Jew. I might trot out the old excuse that every Averah done in Israel is far worse (and trust me, I do my fair share of those). Ultimately, I don't have the balls.

I don't sense dissonance between me personally being a comfortable Jew here yet believing that Jews should make Aliyah. Similarly, I can believe that loshon hora is so wrong, damaging and dangerous, yet continue to spread lies and scandal wherever I roam. I'm human, all too human.

I hope that clears things up and gets the trolls of my back. Good night and G-d bless.

TRK

Modern Mussar: Following your dream - The Alchemist

2005-06-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how people cope without a Shabbos afternoon. The sheer relaxation, serenity and tranquility of a good book after a post-fressing shluff is unbeatable. Try it.

I was fortunate enough to finally get round to reading Paulo Coelho's quasi-Biblical little gem "The Alchemist". Highly reminiscent of Hesse's Siddharta, it forces me to peer deep down inside myself, to challenge my way of life and to ask "Am I living my Dream?". I do have a dream, one which I have hinted to in these (web) pages. I struggle to orient myself towards that dream, knowing that, as Eminem immortalized so profoundly - "you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo". I often get distracted by dollar signs, loose women and the high life, but I feel I am working towards my dream, more on which another time. Books like Coelho's help inspire me and challenge me to make the most of this wonderful gift of life, to do the best with the incredible tools that I have been granted.

The lessons from the above two books are deep and meaningful. The very end of The Alchemist resonates for me with much of Pirkey Avot, about finding equilibrium and harmony in oneself.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself," the alchemist replies. "And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

Follow your dream

TRK

Booknote - Taryag

2005-06-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

One of the many books that I stole off the good Rabbi is called "Taryag" by Rabbi A.H. Rabinowitz (which is going for $70 on Amazon!. Who says crime doesn't pay? Though I see Aronson have put out a slightly less extortionately priced version.)

The concept "Taryag" is the numerical equivalent of the magic number 613. R' Simlai stated in the Talmud that 613 mitzvot were revealed to Moses at sinai, 365 positive ones to match the days of the solar year, and 248 negative ones to correspond with the limbs in the body. Many of the medieval Rabbis compiled varying lists enumerating these 613, Maimonides himself being the most famous of them, and he also formulated the rules for calculating them.

I used to believe, like Shechter and others, that the Taryag dictum was merely for educational purposes, rabbinic hyperbole, midrashic flights of fancy. Rabinowitz claims that this concept was known during Tannaitic times and during the Amoraic era it was accepted Rabbinic tradition.

The author brings various hypotheses concerning the list of 613, including the conjecture that there was in existence a complete list during temple times that was taught to and memorized by schoolchildren. He does seem to argue convincingly that some sort of tradition or list(s) existed pre-Geonic times.

The Rabbis viewed Taryag as important in clarifying the essence of the mitzvot, as opposed to the details surrounding them. It also serves a purpose in understanding the analysis of Halachah, and classification thereof.

Is there a difference between a Taryag Mitzvah and others? A long standing historical debate has been waged concerning the Maimonidean view of the laws derived by the hermeneutical rules and the meaning of Divrey Sofrim, which I shan't go into here (Ein Kan Makom Lehaarich). According to Maimonides, a rule derived by the rules can be repealed by a later Bet Din Hagadol, and there are other Halachic ramifications (Zaken Mamre, Par Heelam Davar and others). There is also a major distinction as to the punishment meted out to those laws which are Taryag and those which aren't.

The author has a long and interesting discussion about the Azharot, the poetic formulations of the Taryag, as well as a close technical examination of the Maimonidean formulation for the enumeration of the Mitzvot.

To sum up, an interesting work that has certainly opened my eyes and broadened my horizons concerning this interesting and under-understood concept.

More to come in the booknote series. Stay tuned.

TRK

Dating thoughts

2005-06-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

So I'm a funny guy. Well-read. Intelligent. Absolutely nothing wrong with my conversation skills. But why am I being interviewed as a potential spouse based on my conversational ability with a complete stranger over a cup of coffee? It's artificial and unnatural. I might've had a bad day at work. Sometimes I need time to warm up to someone. Or they need time to warm up to me. I don't have the energy for it. It's too fake, too unnatural, and I don't know how people who have been doing it for years haven't gone hair-tearingly insane.

Also, I'll say what most guys think - most of the good ones get snapped up young. So bring on the under-age barely legal ones please. Get them while they're hot and fresh.

I'm going back to meet people normally, socially. Just gotta go for the quality long-term ones.

TRK

G-d bless America

2005-06-23T00:29:00.000-07:00

I know, you may have mistaken me for an ardent passionate Zionist. In some ways I am. But I love this country. Heve Mispalel Lishloma Shel Malchus - you should pray for the welfare of the goverment - especially here. We are so lucky to live here and now. Why? What do I love about it?

The way you can go anywhere to shop, and the shops are piled high and cheap as hell.

Some of the lowest tax rates in the world.

Thanksgiving.

Watching the NCAA female softball final - blond cheerleader-type girls running around playing sports, if that isn't heaven then I don't know what is, but it's enough to make anyone want to chop off a limb or commit hari-kiri just to bat one innings with them! The third reich would be happy to know their blonde uber-babes are ruling my world.

I don't suffer the anti-semitism of Britain and France, the high taxes, darkness and cold of Scandinavia. The dull soccer games where you stand around for a couple of hours and it ends up with no goals and a boring stalemate - Yawwwwn. Or cricket, which I can't get for the life of me. One game takes five days? Who would want to watch that, when Tim Duncan is duncan them in?

I don't have to put up with the reputation of being boring - thank you Trey Parker and Matt Stone for telling the world what Canada is really about. 30 million people populating one of the biggest countries in the world - it's enough to drive anyone crazy.

Israel is great but for one major problem - the Israelis! Unless you love a bunch of sweaty, aggressive, obnoxious people. And living in the middle of billions of people who would rejoice if your nation was annihilated.

Ok, we have a load of obese, uneducated, Morgan Spurlock-ignoring trailer trash. We have race issues that will never go away. We do take a deep interest and major role in world affairs, with varying levels of success. Sometimes we are like a giant trying to delicately attach small pieces of lego together, bumbling but well-intended.

With all our faults, warts, fights and idiosyncracies it is still the greatest country the world has ever seen.

Goodnight America, wherever you are (quote anyone?). It's good to be back blogging.

TRK

Multiple dating - please help

2005-06-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

Someone once blogged about dating more than one person at a time (sorry, don't remember who you are, apologies). I commented that I was against it because you lose focus, you need to be able to give the one you are with all your kochos, energy and attention. Also, it gets really really tough remembering what you said to which one and who you promised to see when.

I decided to focus on the first one offered, we shmoozed on the phone but she lives in a different town and is pretty busy, and we didn't click so well on the phone. So I will see her sometime next week, when she has time for me. But I decided to follow up a different offer, and I've already set that one up for the beginning of next week. Plus we had a good vibe on the phone. She finds me amusing, I can tell.

I will give both girls a first date before going for a second, and I will probably get rid of one of them very early on, otherwise it will not be fair. Is that ok?

TRK

Modern Mussar - Parents beware

2005-06-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

This one doesn't really need any introduction, though it would be instructive to hear from those parents out there how much this is true. Children spot falsehood and pick up priorities from their parents pretty quickly, they copycat loshon hora habits at the shabbos table and they grow up with many of their parents values and attitudes whether they like it or not. Let us be warned.

My child arrived just the other day

He came to the world in the usual way

But there were planes to catch and bills to pay

He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew

He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad

You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man on the moon

When you comin' home dad?

I don't know when, but we'll get together then son

You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day

He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play

Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today

I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"

And he walked away but his smile never dimmed

And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah

You know I'm gonna be like him"

Well, he came home from college just the other day

So much like a man I just had to say

"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"

He shook his head and said with a smile

"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys

See you later, can I have them please?"

I've long since retired, my son's moved away

I called him up just the other day

I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"

He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time

You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu

But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad

It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me

He'd grown up just like me

My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man on the moon

When you comin' home son?

I don't know when, but we'll get together then son

You know we'll have a good time then

TRK

Are cyber-relationships healthy?

2005-06-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

In "The Man with Two Brains" Steve Martin spends the entire film talking to a brain in a jar. They sing together, indulge in conversations, he even slaps a pair of lips onto the jar and kisses them. Not too healthy you might say.

Chatting to someone in the blogosphere, conversing through IM, even using the old-fashioned e-mail method is not the healthiest way to relate to someone. We do strip down the old labels of fashion, weight and looks, but we build the Other person up in our own fantasy, buxom blondes, strapping construction workers etc. Ignore the fact that the so-called hottie might be a 42 yr old hairy fat man called Gerald and the handsome successful Manhattan entrepenuer is in fact a 68 yr old janitor in the Midwest.

Does it cause more damage than good to get too close to someone in cyberland? Does the blogworld lead to good, healthy sustainable friendships/relationships or merely a bunch of frustrated lonely people living out their fantasies vicariously in their offices and bedrooms across the globe?

TRK

A belated Six Day War prayer

2005-06-09T08:45:00.000-07:00

Excellent Subliminal song, also has French and Hebrew verses in it
If anyone finds a link, please post. I highly recommend listening to it:

We need peace in the middle east, to stop this holy war.
It's a sin to kill in god's name so tell me what are we dying for?

Got eight year old children throwing piercing and rocks
they're scared but not thinking when the screaming stops
villages are tormented as the soldiers march and it's
hardly ever mentioned on the news we watch
broken promises ending in an endless feud Muslims and Jews
next they will be fighting for food and there's no specific reason
why the war at all started out over the religion on the wailing wall
then they blamed it on the land now they say it's revenge
and for every grain of sand yo we pay with our flesh
anytime you got a conflict that finishes in blood
there's no way you can stop it or bring it to how it was
now hate drives the people to a senseless rage
we were all created equal to follow in god's ways
let the past teach us all to exist in peace to hold hands
and stand tall in the middle east please

We need peace in the middle east, to stop this holy war.
It's a sin to kill in god's name so tell me what are we dying for?

TRK

Single guys should have babies

2005-06-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not advocating pre-marital sex (as much fun as that sounds). Men, listen up and listen well. You want girls to swoon, ladies to fall at your feet, women to be as putty in your hands? Grab the nearest cute baby and get to work.

You make that baby gurgle, giggle and dribble, ensuring maximum exposure to as many single girls as possible. You hold that adorable little thing in the air, swirl it around, make it fly.

It can be outside shul, at a wedding (where they're even more vulnerable than usual), anywhere. Wherever you see the opportunity, where there be single girls and babies around, use the force, men.

Re-enact the Gilette one where the clean shaven hunky guy is holding the immensely cute baby in the air, with the cheesy backing music - doesn't that make you wanna go out and buy razors right now? Now imagine if you are female, you don't want the razor - YOU WANT THE GUY!

So listen all you married couples who believe you've seen the light and want to share the wealth with your less-fortunate single friends (though we know it's really that you are suffering and you can't bear to see people having fun, you want them to suffer too), if you really wanna help - lend us your babies, though only the cute ones please. Not the ones that look like King Kong did as a baby or those that even MJ would stay away from. Just the cute ones.

Men - use this gift that G-d gave us, the gift of luring women by firing up their imaginations. Inspire them to think what a great father you will be, play on their insecurities, manipulate their deep-seated desire for a husband and father to their unborn kids while their biological clock is ticking louder and getting closer to midnight with every tick. I have used the force, and it works. You too can become a Jedi.

Women, there may be men who don't believe in the force. Heretics, Slifkin lovers, apikorsim, skeptics. Back me up, admit to the truth, you will be doing a great service to mankind.

TRK

Modern Mussar - the evil inclination within us

2005-06-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

Keanu Reeves (yes, Mr. Andersssson) has followed the modern dream, been offered a high-powered corporate job in the bright lights of the big city. In a Faustian pact with the impish AP, Lucifer as Mephistopheles, Keanu sells his soul to the god of mammon. Paradise Lost, never to be Regained. (NB - this film is not for the faint-hearted amongst you, though your type should probably stay away from my blog anyway!).

Once on the ladder of temptation, life begins to unravel. There is always more greed, power and success to be had. Hevley havalim. "He who loves money shall never have enough".

The evil inclination, the devilish voice inside every one of us, is tricky, wily, smart, clever and never to be underestimated. You must check out Screwtape's advice to Wormwood, despite it being crusty, British, dated and very Christian (summary here).

AP puts it best: "And as we're straddling from one deal to the next, who's got his eye on the planet, as the air thickens, the water sours, and even the bees' honey takes on the metallic taste of radioactivity? And it just keeps coming, faster and faster. There's no chance to think, to prepare; it's buy futures, sell futures, when there is no future"

He challenges us with: "You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire; you build egos the size of cathedrals; fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse; grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold-plated fantasies, until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own God... and where can you go from there?"

And the piece de resistance, the persuasive argument that daily eats away at my neshomo: "Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, f***in' ass off. He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never."

TRK

Are bloggers dorks?

2005-06-06T00:40:00.000-07:00

Are bloggers dorks, nerds, geeks, nebs, plebs? Are we social misfits, outsiders, outcasts, unwanted, unloved? Do we hide in an unreal world, making cyberfriends, having blogaffairs as a result of our inability to make real friends and exist in normal society?

Or are we popular, sociable, friendly, outgoing, active people? Is this just a creative outlet, sometimes anonymous, often not, to rant and rave, to write and react? Not just the source of our friendships, illicit relationships and conversations that we couldn't have on the outside.

Maybe we are somewhere in between?

I rate myself as very popular and highly sociable and I think others view me that way too. How do you rate yourself? How do others view you? Where are you on the blognerd scale?

TRK

Modern Mussar - life-changing decisions

2005-06-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

Gwyneth Paltrow, progeny of the Taz and a fellow Rabbi's grandkid, showed us in Sliding Doors how different decisions or happenings can affect the course of our life. The film actually showed us hashgocho protis - Divine Providence - in the way the story panned out. The scarier aspect for me is comtemplating how some of our even minor decisions can totally change the course of our lives.

Follow the course of your life back, think of decisions such as what to study in college and where, who to date or dump, what job to take etc. It's often the seemingly minor decisions that have the more delitirious effect. I know I've made some pretty dumb decisions that have changed my life for the worse (I blame the alcohol!) and a few good ones as well. That's also why I enjoy reading historical revisionism that postulates "what if?", the best example I can think of is Robert Harris' famous Fatherland, a dark disturbing tale about Germany in the 1960's following a victory for the Third Reich in WWII.

This is one reason I've never really dated seriously till recently (do I really want to make a lifelong decision right now? Shev Veal Taaseh Adif).

May we be worthy of choosing the right path in everything we do.

TRK

Booknote series - introduction

2005-06-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

Some of the scholars of the web have recently retired, some of them removing copious amounts of insightful, thoughtful Torah and the interface with modern life, e.g. the Gadol, AddeRabbi and the Misnagid in his own inimitable way.

Being the scion of great Rabbinical families, alumnus of the some of the top Yeshivos in the US, possessor of a fine mind during those rare moments of lucidity and sobriety, I felt I should try and add my two cents.

I do find that much webtorah is yawnworthy and sounds like those dull shabbos table or sheva berachot divrey torah that you instantly fall asleep during. I would like to do something slightly different. Being the proud owner and pilferer of a eclectic mix of books and seforim, I will try and get through one every few days and post some interesting ideas from it. The modern predilection to have the same books on your shelf is a damning sign of the conformity, conventionalism and sheepness we have sunk into.

From now on I will try and provide a glossary for each post in the comments section (except for words I make up and trademark).

TRK

More Modern Mussar

2005-06-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

There's an episode of the Simpsons where Bart sells his soul to Millhouse for $5. Suddenly Bart no longer has the ability to laugh, even at senseless violence. He has a dream where everyone is rowing arrowing happily on a lake, with their souls in tow, and he is alone, lonely, sad and miserable. He has to hunt down the piece of paper with his soul on it, which had eventually made it's way back to Lisa.

I cannot fathom the soul, its power of laughter, empathy, joy, tears and pain. The ability to conceive of spirituality, martyrdom, altruism. My soul is me, yet not me. Struggling with my body, embodying my spirit, I am a unity of flesh and breath, bones and consciousness, G-d's touch is within me, pulling and pushing me.

TRK

Wanted: A girl with Ooooomph

2005-05-31T22:51:00.000-07:00

It's not so easy to put into words what I am looking for. I can tell you what it's not - not some "Yes" girl, a baby maker and house cleaner who will agree dutifully with everything hubby says.

What is "Oooooomph"? It's a combination of character, personality, edge, zest, passion, intelligence, street smarts, confidence, bite, balls, brains.

I need someone who will debate, argue, criticize and joust with me intellectually. Someone who won't let me dominate conversations, who is well read and well versed, yet not an intellectual snob. Opinionated yet capable of seeing the other side. Full of conviction and moral fiber. One who has so much to teach me in so many different areas of life in such a short space of time. Who will join me on my spiritual, emotional and intellectual quest for truth, love and G-d during this fleeting existence.

Is that too much to ask?

TRK

Modern Mussar

2005-05-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

I remember watching as a kid (a real one, not just a Rabbi's one) an episode of the New Twilight Zone (Google has almost definitely established it was called "Take My Life ... Please!"). It was a long time ago, so I'll have to paraphrase.

A comedian finds himself suddenly back stage, and is ushered out onto the stage. He figures he should do as he always does, and reels off a list of one-liners. Silence. Pin-drop quiet. He can't see the audience due to the glaring spotlight. None of his jokes elicit a chuckle. Then a voice from the crowd calls out "Tell us about Frank". A chorus of voices shout "Yeah, tell us about Frank". So the comic hesitantly says "Frank was my best friend, he was away on business a lot and I had an affair with his wife". The crowd roar with laughter. "What about the hit and run?" "I clipped a young boy with my car once but didn't stop to help, just drove straight home" - the crowd are on the floor, rolling in the aisles. The comedian is forced to recount all his wrongdoings and the crowd laps it up, begs for more.

Beis Din Shel Maalah?

TRK

I wanna make the world a better place

2005-05-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

How do I make the world a better place? Discover a cure for cancer? Eradicate hunger? I don't have the tools, knowedge or finance for that.

Should I try and make my country a better place? Run for president? Institute a powerful new lobby? I don't know if I have the balls, guts or the ability to do that.

Maybe I can make my city a better place? Clean up the streets? Shelter the homeless? Cure the addicts? I don't think I can do that.

I'll have to start with myself. Every second of every day is filled with infinite possibilites. A good deed, a friendly butterfly smile can ripple across millions, through worlds upper and lower. Delving into Torah, carrying out G-d's Word can cause a chain reaction through the unfathomable spiritual realms.

If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

TRK

Baseball and life

2005-05-17T23:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes your big hitter comes up with a huge home run at the bottom of the ninth to win. Often though you need to amass the runs, fly balls, walks, men on base early on in the innings. Both methods work, unless you are too many runs down in the ninth. What innings am I in? Is it too late? Are none of my hitters on form?

There is no "recover post" button in real life is there?

Unsure

2005-05-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

יושב בסלון מגרד ת'ביצים
בזמן שאח שלי טוחן אבנים בשטחים

ביחד נשרוד לחוד ניפול

For TwennyTwo - about Israel

2005-05-13T01:13:00.000-07:00

Twenny asked:

"Are all Jewish people supposed to live in Israel? If so, are they supposed to live there permanently?"

Like everything else (esp. when it comes to us Jews!) it depends who you ask. Amongst Orthodox Jews (which is the grouping I know best) there is a spectrum of answers, ranging from the religious zionist belief that every Jew should live in Israel to the ultra-Orthodox point of view that states that Jews should not go en masse to live there until the coming of the Messiah, i.e. pro-zionist, a-zionist and anti-zionist.

There is a corpus of complex Halachic (Halachah = Jewish Sharia) debate as whether it is an actual commandment to live in Israel. Some say yes (religious zionists again) some say sort of (quite-ultra semi-zionists but not willing to admit to it in public) and some say no (full-on ultra orthodox, represented in the extreme by the Satmar grouping of Chassidim).

"If so, how are they supposed to fit?"

Good question. There are many areas in Southern Israel that are empty and undeveloped. Israel has already absorbed millions who have turned the dry arid marshlands and wastelands into beautiful lush green areas. Furthermore the truth is that, like many other religions, when it comes to religious belief or ideology the practical side of things doesn't seem to have too much influence.

"Can someone explain the whole 'go back to Israel if you are a Jew' concept to me, please? Is it like Hajj where you go for a certain pilgrimage and then leave?"

No. The idea is to live there. There was a religious concept of making a pilgramage to Jerusalem/the Temple area during the three festivals of Pesach (just finished) Shavuot and Succot, aka Passover, Pentecost and Tabernacles (as if that helps!). Nowadays (due to lack of said Temple) it is a nice idea but not generally held to be any sort of religious obligation.

Twenny, thanks for asking. Feel free to ask more. If anyone has a problem with you asking questions I'll bitch slap them so hard they'll be eating through the back of their head.

Thanks for listening, and if anyone disagrees with what how I portrayed things (in a brief, concise yet scholarly manner) they can comment - but watch out for my jabs and uppercuts.

TRK