Thursday, May 05, 2005

I am sheltered - am I normal?

I realised that I've been incredibly lucky. My parents are still alive thank G-d. None of my close friends have been through a divorce, nor have their parents been through a divorce. Only a couple of them have had parents pass away.

No one I know has been raped, sexually abused or molested, G-d forbid, that I know of. No vicious attacks that I can think of, no savage mutilation. A couple of relatives of friends have died in piguim, one good friend died of a heart attack, a couple of acquaintances passed away in their twenties.

Am I the odd one out? Is it happening all around me and I am not privy to it, not aware of the reality? Have many of you, the readers, have had to face these things?

Open my eyes, broaden my mind, enlighten my soul. Slap me with the reality, dis-abuse me of my foolish naivete with your stories, drag me kicking and screaming out of the ivory tower I grew up in and my cotton-wool wrap with your heart wrenching stories, grind my rose-tinted glasses into the dirt with the heel of your pain.

Please. For me and for others like me.



At 5/05/2005 4:32 PM, Blogger Karl said...

Be thankful you know nothing of the tzoras you mention and leave it at that.

At 5/05/2005 4:38 PM, Blogger kishmech said...

I'm with you on that TRK, i mean my parents didn't have a lot of dough to fact not much at a ll when i was growing up.....but that's it, everyone's alive and healthy and unscarred by trauma. So, yes, i consider myself sheltered too. And lucky.

At 5/05/2005 5:17 PM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

Gosh you guys are quick!

Karl, I am very thankful, but to be frank (may I be frank?) since I have never really experienced the horrors described I can honestly say that I don't fully appreciate how thankful I should be. If people wish to open themselves up (anonymously should they desire) to show me what the reality is, I would be greatful.

Kish, also my parents were not too poor thank G-d. Nothing extravagant, but food, clothes couple of cars, I can't complain. I cannot even begin to imagine or appreciate growing up in abject poverty.


At 5/05/2005 10:32 PM, Blogger Behind A Door said...

TRK, lucky lucky you... Most of my freinds come from problematic families... And mine wasnt all to peachy either. Most ppl i know arent divorced though (but i'm not sure thats a good thing) and I havent had to deal with death and the like...

Btw, regarding shelteredness... Certain freinds veiw me as soooo sheltered and as a rebbetzin, whereas my other freinds veiw me as a sex know it all...

At 5/05/2005 11:42 PM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

BAD - which one are you really? ;-)

At 5/06/2005 6:25 AM, Blogger Just Shu said...

I have also lived a pretty sheltered life, not to much tzaros in my life, my wife however lost her father when she was a teenager, and two of her closest friend passed away at young ages.
Sadly she has suffered for the two of us

At 5/06/2005 6:50 AM, Blogger Shoshana said...

It's funny, I think it really depends on the circles that you grow up a part of makes a difference in what is sheltered or not. I have had several of the experiences you describe, or have friends who have gone through them, and I still consider myself quite sheltered, naive, and incredibly lucky. However, several of my friends who have grown up in frum circles, or just more affluent families, their entire lives hear about the things I have gone through and think that I have had it very difficult. It's all in perspective.

At 5/06/2005 7:18 AM, Blogger Behind A Door said...

I'm neither, I'm normal.

At 5/06/2005 12:34 PM, Blogger TwennyTwo said...

" 'Mano, que te pasa?!" (spanish for I'm with Karl, what the heck is wrong with you?!)

We live and learn from experience, both others' and our own, but bro, what you are asking is for folk to take out bleeding hearts and shove them in yo' face. You get what you ask for, just a bit, just this once.

I've seen a 11 year old kid who suicided with a gun while his sister who was supposed to be watching him ignored him and kissed on some scrawny pimply boy. It was my first run as a paramedic and I had to help identify the signs of death. I will never forget that child (who by the way was pretty affluent, had everything but attention from his parents and sis).

I've had several friends try to suicide starting in high school (I'm kinda hypersensitive about depression now).

In 11th grade my chemistry partner, the star of the basketball team, collapsed on the gym floor at an away game in mid-run in front of his parents and everyone else. He died basically before the ambulance arrived. He was the only boy in his family.

Every day here I see tons of kids who come to school in damp, musty uniforms because they didn't dry from where they were spot-washed the night before. Same kids are skinny, smiling bags of bones.

I could go on, but please, just take your own opinion. You are a lucky guy, especially if you know enough to realize it.


At 5/07/2005 12:30 PM, Anonymous itsallgood said...

You're lucky you never heared of those things up close, neither did I, thank G-D!!
Just don't take it for granted, and try to help those who are less fortunate..
Oh, and never stop praying that things stay this way for you.
Shavuah Tov!

At 5/08/2005 1:04 AM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

Shu, thanks for the comment.

Shosh, it's definitely about perspective. One of the reasons I want to hear from people is that we can realize that we are fortunate and there are others less fortunate than us.

BAD, we'll have to test you on that!

TT, I asked for that. It is important for us sheltered lucky ones to know what goes on out there. Thank you for your honesty. I am lucky and I know it.

IAG, I don't take it for granted, that was the purpose of this post.


At 5/10/2005 12:33 PM, Blogger BrooklynWolf said...


We all have our burdens in life to bear. Some more than others. I guess in comparison to you, I've been somewhat unlucky - my parents divorced when I was young, I have two aunts going through a divorce right now, I've had friends get divorced (one after only about three weeks of marriage!) as well and some of my friends have lost their parents.

But then again, I have much to be thankful for. I had all four of my grandparents at my wedding. I have three wonderful children. I haven't known anyone who was violently murdered, viciously attacked, molested, etc. I was a block away from the WTC when the towers came down and I made it through without a scratch. There are certainly people I know who haven't had the blessings that I've had, and would be more than willing to accept the "bad" I've endured for the sake of some of the blessing that God has bestowed upon me.

The Wolf


Post a Comment

<< Home