Tuesday, September 20, 2005

To future TRK in 20 years time - a reminder

Dear TRK in the future,

Hey, how ya doing? Remember when you were younger and you weren't the biggest fan of authority and always wanted to run away and do the opposite of everything they said? Remember how lucky you were that your parents were always supportive, gave you the room and the space to grow, to explore, to make your own decisions and mistakes without overly prying?

Well, hopefully you'll have a bundle of mini-TRK's running around the place by now (though at this rate they'll either be to different mothers out of wedlock, or I should address this to TRK in 40 years time?). Anyway, don't be a disciplinarian. Your daughter will be loved and understood if she goes to parties and dies her hair pink (though if 80's fashion even looks like coming back in I'm getting a vasectomy right now!). Your son can hang out with his dudes and look after himself and always be welcomed back with open arms.

Maybe I should write a letter to my future self detailing my own shenanigans ("if anyone says shenanigans one more time I'll pistol whip them" - BIG prize if you know the film), but there's NOOOO way I'd detail them here - sorry beloved readership. Not a chance. A cat in a freezing over hell has more chance!



At 9/20/2005 7:23 PM, Blogger da shevster said...

TRK, how old r u?

At 9/21/2005 4:01 AM, Blogger Karl said...

"I swear to Gd I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says, Shenanigans"
- Captain O'Hagan in Super Troopers.

At 9/21/2005 4:26 AM, Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Karl's right - Its super troopers.

At 9/21/2005 4:42 AM, Blogger Mata Hari said...

sure sure. you know it's always the guys with the pasts who are most protective of their daughters. they KNOW what's out there. by the time these kids are grown you'll have a beard and payos, forbid them from reading anything but artscroll, and make them have sit-in dates.

At 9/21/2005 6:52 AM, Anonymous Chai said...

LOL Mata...
But seriously, one thing I've learned from 'having a past' is that an outright no, forbidding everything, just means you lose control, and your kids do whatever they fancy.
Whereas moderation, giving a little - you can read this, go here, wear this - keeps you in control, at least some of the time...
There's no magic answer, and I haven't gotten there yet - I may change my mind very quickly when I do - but for now, that's my theory.

At 9/21/2005 10:57 AM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

Karl and Jameel, I'm sorry guys, someone beat you two to it.

"Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?"

"It's really funny, Cap! It's Afghanistanimation"



At 9/21/2005 10:59 AM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

MH, you know that's not necessarily true - that happens if people FORGET their past, but I will not become like that, nor will I let myself forget how I was - why should we make the same mistake as parents that many of our parents generation made?

Chai, I believe in giving a lot, in an open and loving atmosphere, kids will be kids, if you love them set them free and they will return to you

At 9/21/2005 11:13 AM, Blogger Mata Hari said...

trk - chill. was joking.

At 9/21/2005 5:36 PM, Anonymous Chai said...

TRK, I like your attitude of giving kids space, but then, I can play devil's advocate and say, 'How do you know they'll come back?'
The line about 'if you love someone, set them free' continues, 'if they come back it's real...' (at least in the song...lol) You can take that risk with a partner, but with kids, when you KNOW what you have is real, can you risk it? Not for you, but for THEM?

At 9/21/2005 7:05 PM, Blogger dietgarage said...

9 times out of 10 its the kids who you give enough space to make decisions who make the right ones.
not opinion - experience.

At 9/21/2005 7:08 PM, Blogger Mata Hari said...

TRK - make sure not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. our parents' generation did a lot of things right, and they instilled good values. it's good for kids to get some discipline and boundaries.

At 9/21/2005 9:47 PM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

chai, DG is right - it's not a risk, it's pretty much the way it has to be.

MH, I will instill values and discipline at a young age, but when they become adolescents I will give them the freedom to choose.



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