Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I'm open for criticism

I hereby declare myself, TRK, to be open, ready, willing and able to hear contructive helpful advice, criticism and thoughts, from friends, family, countrymen and bloggers.

The truth hurts like hell. For a while. But then after the initial pain, often I find ways of dealing with what's been said, internalizing it, adapting to it, altering myself. It may take a lifetime of effort. I really believe I'm better off in the long run with people telling me the truth rather than them hiding it from me to protect me. My friends, if I have chocolate on my face, annoy the hell out of you because I sing along with songs in the car, am arrogant or insensitive, please tell me. My family, if I don't show you enough love or caring, it isn't because there's a lack of love, but please tell me. My future wife, wherever she may be, I'm not perfect, far from it, I will strive to improve myself, but you are the person that I have chosen to intertwine my life with and you will be the one to tell me, to advise me, to rebuke, chastise or upbraid me. I trust you with my life and I trust you to hold a harsh mirror up to me when I need it. I will be better off that way.



At 4/12/2005 6:52 AM, Blogger Shoshana said...

I, too, would often rather know the truth than have people be polite and not tell me something that could help me. That being said, however, there are times and manners of being honest that are better than others. I try to be very careful when I say things to others. For example, there are times when I know a person isn't going to listen to my suggestion, so it is not worth having them get angry or upset with me and possibly disrupting our friendship. There are also different ways of telling someone something that you think they are doing wrong, and you should be as gentle as possible, so that they know you are doing out of concern rather than from being critical. There is a huge spectrum of "rebuke" and ways to give it, and not all ways necessarily involve hurting someone else.

At 4/12/2005 7:42 AM, Blogger The Rabbi's Kid said...

I agree shoshana, it should be constructive and gentle. But we should also tell our friends and family that we are open to be told where we go wrong.



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