Women, listen up
Just wanna set a few facts straight about us males. Most of us are not constantly thinking about marriage, not imagining ourselves under the chuppah with our current date, picturing our wedding suit and what color flowers go with what color tie.
We don't consider our life incomplete unless we are betrothed, that our achievements in our career and elsewhere contain little meaning until we walk down that aisle. Give us time to get used to the idea of being tied down, to come around to the fact that we might never be able to partake in the hunt, the chase, the sweet sweet taste of conquest.
If we are in it, we are normally in it for a reason. It could be just for the sex, so you know how to check that out - don't give out the sex (sorry guys, it is the truth). But otherwise we are actually involved because we want to be, staying with it and showing that we have feelings for you, just that we aren't in a rush to run to that church/synagogue/mosque/Elvis-style Vegas wedding chapel.
Saying the old ILY is a really big deal for us - unless we are after play, in which case we'll say anything. But please GIVE US TIME. A friend of mine told me he was getting Mazeltovs from his friends and relatives before anything had happened, merely because she was into it and had told everyone that it was gonna happen, thereby spreading the Word across the country.
Laydees, if it is right after one month it will still be right after three or six months. So stick it out and lay off the pressure. Please. We run the other way from pressure. It pushes us into the arms of waiting harlots, distancing ourselves from commitment, tension and stress.
So just chill and wait it out. Please. If you love him, set him free. Give him the space, the freedom and the time to decide. That'll help him to choose you, accept him for who he is and if it's right it will happen.
For those delectable females who are worried this is a practical issue for me, have no fears my dears, it is not and probably will not be for quite some time at this rate.
TRK
posted by TRK @ 12:32 AM
16 comments
16 Comments:
Back up there buddy.
If you give them too much time, they will run away..even if it is the right time.
Get over the fear and go for it.
Less likey for a couple who is married to split over little things, than a dating couple. and dats da truth.
Too much freeedom for a guy is a bad thing.
Too much dating is not so good either.
I don't think this is male-exclusive. I think some women need time and space in order to get around to the idea of committing and settling down also. Granted, it is probably less of a percentage of females who feel this way than males, but it does exist. I have a friend who just recently broke up with a guy because he was pressuring her to marry before she was ready to make the committment. I think it is important to make such a big decision when both parties are ready, taking the time to really get to know each other before rushing into anything. I am not saying the process has to take years, but several months is absolutely not unreasonable to expect before committing for the rest of one's life.
Whoa, I agree. Slow down there, Tanto. I fully agree to what you wrote when it comes to you, but what you say is certainly not the general rule. Keep in mind that like other things, this is your opinion.
Pushes you into the arms of waiting harlots? Do we detect a theme here?
Haha, you know every woman in the world is just dying to get married and settle down as soon as possible. Yah right.
Good post...a lot of truth in there!
Zibibbo, it's 40 acres and a MULE.
Zoe, it's spelled "Tonto."
SHEESH! What a bunch of amaratzim!
Unforgiving, thank you for giving voice to all of us who don't want to say it.
Echoing the comments of the other women- most of us aren't "constantly thinking about marriage" either, never mind considering ourselves and our lives "incomplete". (great backstreet boys song tho) Can I respectfully point out that the pace of a relationship is *normally* set by both parties. So if a woman is suddenly "coming on too strong", gentlemen, it is just as much due to the face that you've made her feel like she can.
Somehow, some people think that a woman's not complete unless she's married with kids. I disagree. Guys don't make my life worth living. I do. Guys are just a bonus, and they're fun to have around.
Dude, I admit to being one of the females opposite to the man TRK describes... one of these days I will be married... until then, I refuse to date, esp. men who cannot tolerate the fact that I've known that one day I was gonna be married since I was five years old.
But thank you for that blanket warning, though I refuse to change my ways.
Wait a second.
Seems to me like you guys who are such committment-phobes should get a clue too... women want to be married, they like dresses and dream of flowers and caterers. Modern Bride magazine ain't in any danger of going out of business any time soon...so why are dudes always complaining of this? Women don't like to stick around unless they smell some type of committment. That's how they are.
There, there's one back atcha... peace
TwennyTwo
Brianna, my sentiments exactly.
However, chronic commitophobes are a major turnoff.
Sem and brianna- grow up! you think like that because your 18! get back to me in 10 years time and tell us if you have the same views...
Buy yourself a frikkin dress and throw yourself a party! - no need to involve an innocent victim in your immature fantasy of marriage.
Very, VERY well said. :)
glad I got some interesting input out of that. knowing my luck I'll end up engaged after 3 dates (if I ever get that far!)
TRK
Hey ppl wait up, good post, but not all true guys sure do have less feelings but on the other hand have you ever looked at a kid a 2 year old how he play's and runs around imagine one of those to be yours boy it shakes me to the core and btw i don’t mean the sex i mean the having a kid part of life and so on...
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