Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Coolidge has no effect on me

I discovered recently a term for the way many of us behave - the Coolidge effect. You can read where the name came from here. In short, animals do not choose their mates randomly. They identify and reject those with whom they have already had sex, and move on.

It is the temporal need for newness, for freshness, for new challenges, to find another partner, not to get stale, old and boring.

We are constantly searching for the scent, the raw, fierce tension. It is a life-long challenge for us to settle down, to stay with one female, one person, one partner, to wake up next to them every day. This affects all of us in some way or another.

So if you are in a relationship, or thinking about heading into one, be smart and be cool, keep things fresh, keep the challenge on, don't let things get too stale and dull. And good luck. And wish me luck.


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

L-rd, Cleanse me

L-rd, cleanse me
wash away my grimes and misdemeanors
purify me

Take these crumbs of sin
incinerate them
let no dog want to eat them

Cancel my desires
like dust and dirt
Gone forgotten forever

Let sin no longer rear its ugly head
nor bite me in the ass
boy that hurts

We'll celebrate the exodus
from slavery to my material wants
to freedom for my soul

Purge me
Free me
Save me

Because I can't

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The One Call you shouldn't have to make

1) "Hi, Michelle, it's Jason. Don't hang up, please listen. I know you told me you never wanted to speak to me again, but this is important. No, stop shouting at me and listen. I need to see you. Just meet me this evening, I don't care where. Ok, ok, you don't wanna meet me. Then just hear me out for two minutes, please. I was at the clinic, getting some tests done. They found that I was ... I am ..... positive. You know, I'm infected. Yes, they are sure, they did another two tests. Look, I know we used protection. But we did other things. You remember what we did, so you'll also have to get tested. No I don't know who I caught it off, it could've been you! Hey, we both know that's a lie, you could've got it from someone before me. Stop pretending to be all innocent and pure, alright? Just go get tested and let me know - and please don't tell anyone, I haven't told my family yet. I just got to figure out how to carry on - what a mistake i made."

2) "Ben, hi, how are ya, it's Leah, what's up? Yeah, I know we haven't spoken for a while, but I really gotta speak to ya. Listen, it's important. You gotta listen, stop telling me to leave you alone. I am out of your life, but I gotta tell you something , I'm pregnant. I'm carrying your baby. Yes it's yours, what are you trying to say? I don't know how it happened - you tell me. You were there, it's your sperm, I don't know how they got inside me, there were a number of close calls, who knows? It doesn't matter now. Don't YOU tell me to get an abortion, I'm the one who can make that decision. Are you messing with me? No I don't expect you to marry me, we broke up, remember? Look, I will get an abortion, I think, I just need to think about it. No you can't come with me, you are only offering to make sure I go through with it. You don't get it, there is a human GROWING inside of me, a miracle in my womb. I just got to figure out how to carry on - what a mistake I made."